Do you even jump off gigantic yachts named “Winning,” Bro? Goddammit, neither do I. But the #SB2K17 squad — Justin Thomas, Rickie “Richard Flowers” Fowler, Smylie Kaufman, and Jordan Spieth — does. They also get to play golf without wearing shoes or shirts on one of the nicest golf courses in the Caribbean. People can’t even get on my local muni course without a collared shirt on. Talk about preferential treatment.
But preferential treatment isn’t the real issue here.
The real issue is that every time I watch their SnapChats, or the round ups of them on Instagram, I am awash with the worst case of FOMO I have ever had. It is literally killing me — seriously, that’s not hyperbole, the highlights of this trip are actually murdering me — because I’m not on a guys’ trip like this right now. Well, not a trip like this one exactly, but a toned down, tucked in collared shirt golf trip. Because we all know there is no way in hell that a nice course is going to let a group of random, regular dudes have this much fun. But when your name is not Spieth or Richard Flowers (tremendous alias by the way) you take what you can get. Right now, I would take anything even remotely resembling the highlights of their first two days at Baker’s Bay.
Speaking of their highlights, here are Day 1’s highlights and Day 2’s are below.