I suck at golf. If J. Camm is the resident golf stud here at BroBible, I’m the dude who gets aggressively drunk on the course and yells “cock!” in his backswing. I’m a jerkoff I know. But I think any dogshit golfer can attest to the fact that the most nerve-wracking part of your week is standing above your ball on the very first tee when you haven’t swung your club since, well, that morning when watched a Lisa Ann vid, but other than that a very long time. You wouldn’t so much mind slicing one into the drink in front of your friends, but there is ALWAYS a smug, condescending foursome behind you critiquing your swing and all your life choices. You convince yourself that one of them called you a “talentless bottom feeder,” but that was probably just your inner monologue kicking in again.
And then when you hit a week infield grounder back to the pitcher, your friends die laughing but the dickface’s behind you will say something patronizing veiled in encouragement like “that’ll play!” or “got a good bounce!” or “holy shit bro are you even trying?” Then for the next 17 holes, you’re thinking of bludgeoning that pompous dick in a visor with your nine iron and disposing of his lifeless body in the pond on hole eight.
Well, that’s exactly what was coursing through Shaq’s mind and veins during his opening tee shot at the Greenbrier Classic Pro-Am in West Virginia. And to get up there in front of hundreds of people and cut clean through a hefty helping of West Virginia coal-infused air, not once but TWICE, well, wouldn’t want to wish that feeling on my worst enemy.
This dude couldn’t be happier about it, though:
[Vid via Jason Sobel]