Jeff Banks serves as the special teams coordinator for the college football program at Texas. His wife, Dani Banks (formerly Dani Thomas), is better known as ‘The Pole Assassin.’
She is threatening to sue a prominent account on Instagram for posting her image without consent.
The former exotic dancer (stripper) continues to be one of the most unique stories in college football. Unfortunately, this latest saga does not directly involve her emotional support monkey, Gia, who allegedly bit a trick-or-treater on Halloween in 2021.
Who is The Pole Assassin?
Dani Banks is the wife of Jeff Banks. Jeff Banks is the special teams coordinator at the University of Texas. He was hired by Steve Sarkisian in 2021 after stops at Texas A&M and Alabama. He is the highest-paid special teams coordinator in college football.
Dani Thomas started dating Jeff Banks in 2017. They got married in 2024.
Prior to the wedding, where Ms. Thomas became Mrs. Banks, she was best known as ‘The Pole Assassin.’ That may still be true. Thomas worked as a stripper. She was known for her impressive tricks on the pole and even appeared on The Jerry Springer show.
Nobody seemed to realize or care that Banks was dating a stripper until Halloween of 2021. On that day, The Pole Assassin’s emotional support monkey (who sometimes performed with her on stage) allegedly bit a trick-or-treater at their Austin home. Thomas claimed there was a lot more to the story and gave a detailed account of what happened. It was not Gia’s fault!
As far as I can tell, The Pole Assassin has since retired from her craft. The pole is no longer assassinated.
However, on that fateful Halloween night, Jeff Banks’ girlfriend (now wife) became a crucial character in larger plot of college football. She might be the most well-known coach’s wife in the sport— beyond Miss Terry Saban. She is a folk hero.
Dani Banks threatened to sue a college football account on Instagram.
Although she no longer works the pole, Dani Banks continues to be a content machine. She has more than 70,000 followers on Instagram. You can find her profile @danyellabanks88. I am not going to embed it here for reasons you will soon understand.
Banks posted a photo with her husband, the special teams coordinator at Texas, from the home game last weekend. They are on the field together. She is kissing him on the cheek. He is smiling at the camera.
That photo made its way to X (Twitter). A burner account by the name of ‘Calvin Applebottom II” posted Banks’ Instagram photo with the caption “I know that ain’t who I think it is,” referring to the Pole Assassin.
Calvin Applebottom II’s post was picked up by a prominent college football meme account on Instagram with the handle @collegefootball. Applebottom’s post was shared alongside a series of other Pole Assassin memes.
Dani Banks did not appreciate the post. She commented back with a threat of a lawsuit:
“@collegefootball the next time u decide to post my picture u better have a check ur a– can cash cuz, i will be send my lawyer to sue u ! so keep ur phone on ! 😂”
Even though I don’t think Mrs. Banks has any legal ground on which to stand, it is much easier for me not to get involved with any potential litigation so I am not going to post any of the images here. However, I love the idea of ‘The Pole Assassin vs. Calvin Applebottom II’ playing out in court. Can you imagine? College football is the greatest.