This MLS Draft Pick’s Instagram Handle Is So Brilliant, I May Give Soccer Another Shot

The MLS draft was today.

Sorry, *THE MLS DRAFT WAS TODAY!!!

Ugh, I can’t even fake it.

In soccer’s defense, all drafts are a gigantic waste of time–nevermind for a sport I have little interest in.

But during today’s MLS draft, there was a magical moment in an otherwise sea of nothingness that finally made me connect with the sport of soccer in a personal manner.

In the third round, FC Dallas selected UNC Wilmington forward Colin Bonner–a First-Team All-Midwest, First-Team Scholar athlete with a first ballot Hall of Fame Instagram handle.

Busted Coverage pointed out that Colin had changed his Instagram title since it became hot news. Now I hate soccer again.

[h/t Busted Coverage]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.