Tom Brady Flips On Some Kids About DeflateGate In Hilarious New Foot Locker Commercial

Laugh out loud funny. I would say this was an Oscar-worthy acting job by TB12, but I’m not sure he was acting. He’s been publicly tight lipped about his four-game suspension after a messy, ultimately inconsequential act that made its way all the way up to the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals and took at least 3 years off the lives of football fans everywhere. Brady’s silence, however, was likely because he spent his time off in a dark basement figuring out the most fail-proof way of cutting the brakes in Roger Goodell’s car without getting bagged. In the end, Brady should be sending Roger an Edible Arrangements or something because the 11-time Pro Bowler has thrown 12 touchdown passes and just 1 interception in just five games and is in the conversation for his third NFL MVP at the age of 39. Back to the drawing board, Roger.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.