Tom Brady Trolls The Miami Dolphins From His Couch After The Patriots Sent Them Home Winless

Tom Brady likely watched the team he’s led to four Super Bowl victories yesterday just like you and I did–on the couch, drinking excessively, maybe a halftime cigarette or four.

After the Patriots won their first two games in convincing fashion, this whole four game suspension thing may be starting to shape up into a leisurely vacation for TB12, especially considering the rest of the AFC East currently has a record of 1-5.

Despite backup Jimmy Garoppolo getting injured late in the second quarter of what appears to be a sprained AC joint in his throwing shoulder, the 24-year-old provided enough cushion for the Patriots 91st draft pick, NC State QB Jacoby Brissett. The Pats squeaked out a 31-24 W, sans Gronk.

Brady continued his tradition of social media trolling after the win by posting a fake newspaper cartoon to turn the knife into a winless Dolphins team.

The Pats face an uphill battle next week as third-string QB Jacoby Brissett will try to make professional decisions against JJ Watt and an undefeated Texans defense.

Brady will be back week 5 against the Browns.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.