Twitter Saved The NFL Draft For Me

by 3 years ago

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If you were like millions of other football-starved fans last night, there’s a good chance that you did nothing but sit on your lazy ass for about four hours to watch the first round of the NFL Draft. And, like most of those millions who tuned in, there’s an even better chance that for about 3.5 hours of the time you did nothing but yawn at the analysis that “experts” gave following each pick—even though we tried to give you a drinking game to entertain yourselves with.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve watched the NFL Draft each and every year just like this. However, for the first time ever, there was actually something that made the thing entertaining—Twitter.

Between the crop top look that Ezekiel Elliott showed up in to the ever-changing drama surrounding Laremy Tunsil’s social media, here’s why Twitter saved the NFL Draft for me.

5. Darron Lee Stiffs Ohio State Coach Urban Meyer

One of the most dynamic defenders in this draft, former Ohio State linebacker Darron Lee was stoked when the New York Jets selected him with the 20th overall pick.

In fact, Lee was so pumped to don Gang Green that he left his college coach hanging on a high-five—and the Internet loved it.

Lee’s denial of Meyer could have happened to any one of us with our bros out on th town—the kid clearly just didn’t see Urb standing there—but it was the kind of moment that social media lives for.

I guess Lee would rather rush to the stage to shake Satan Roger Goodell’s hand than give some dap to Meyer.

4. Paxton Lynch Is As Cool As A Cucumber

If there were any questions about Paxton Lynch’s demeanor, the former Memphis Tigers quarterback answered them last night when he was spotted on TV sitting at a bowling alley in the most chill outfit a player has ever worn during the NFL Draft.

Sitting next to his agent, ESPN cameras caught the kid stretched out and leaned back wearing a t-shirt, shades and appearing as if he were ready to hit the club on a Saturday night.

Dare I say the entire persona looked Manziel-esque? Let’s just hope his NFL fate turns out better than JFF’s has.

3. Ezekiel Elliott Is One Flashy Motherfucker

There have been plenty of colorful outfits at the NFL Draft in the past, but when running back Ezekiel Elliott stepped onto the red carpet last night, he took the award for the most Hall of Fame-worthy in league history.

The former Ohio State running back didn’t just wear a baby blue jacket that was lined with white trim and accompanied by a bow tie, he rolled his shirt up to take one last shot at the NCAA for telling him he couldn’t wear his jersey like a crop top—as he preferred to during his college football days.

Twitter exploded once Zeke showed up, giving mixed opinions about the outfit and getting the banter started between fans.

Is there a more perfect player for Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys to draft after seeing Elliott last night? Fuck no!

2. Johnny Manziel As A Homeless Guy

Even when he’s out of the league and uninvolved in the NFL Draft, Johnny Manziel still makes headlines somehow, someway.

Manziel, who was the 22nd overall pick in the draft just two years ago, was seen drinking at a bar wearing a fucking rolled up bandana around his head and watching the selections pour in.

Once the photo hit the web, well, what the hell do you think happened?

Johnny Fucking Football was created by the Internet, so it’s fitting that he had another hurrah during one of the biggest nights the NFL has each year.

1. Laremy Tunsil Gets Sabotaged

Look, I’ll never take joy in seeing another man have to sweat something out as bad as Laremy Tunsil did last night, but, c’mon, who didn’t find every twist and turn of that whole social media hacking thing go down?

Tunsil, who was presumed to be the best offensive tackle on the board entering last night, tumbled down the draft board like a fucking football stadium being demolished by dynamite, finally getting selected by the Miami Dolphins with the 13th overall pick.

Sports fans get up-to-the-minute content during games that go viral, but never before have we gotten up-to-the-minute content involving a guy who had no control of what his own Twitter and Instagram accounts were doing.

Someone, somewhere, had the most brilliant troll job in the history of the Internet last night for all of us to take part in—and, whether from vendetta or pure pleasure, Laremy Tunsil was the victim of it.


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