What Better Way To Spend 7 Minutes Than Watching The US Men’s Basketball Team Put A 49 Point Beatdown On China

So the Olympics are going to be an unmitigated disaster. We can pretty much just accept that by this point and move on. They only come once every four years but, whatever, I guess they’ll just suck. Thanks Brazil. I haven’t been looking forward to this since 2012 or anything like that.

However, if this is evidence of anything, one thing that will not be a disappointment is the beatdown that the USA Basketball team doles out to other countries. Sure, China drew first blood, but that’s the American way. We wait until another country does something to piss us off and then we rip their insides out their behind. Sure, that’s an oversimplification regarding the conceptual truths of warfare, but it’s basically correct. All I know is that, in an Olympics where the water literally has the potential to eat the skin off of athletes, having a team that will be able to take a metaphorical dump on the competition is something we really need.