Full disclosure here to preserve my journalistic integrity – I went to Vanderbilt, and I bleed black and gold. The bleeding thing is actually an unrelated medical condition, but what I’m trying to say is that I’m a hearty supporter of Vanderbilt athletics.
As a fan of Vandy sports, I’m used to embarrassing displays from our teams. It’s kinda like what I imagine it’s like to be a Mets fan. Even when they’re doing well, you just know they’re gonna find a way to let you down. But things were starting to look up for Vandy. James Franklin turned around our football program, getting us a couple bowl wins. Our baseball team won its first National Championship a couple months ago. Women’s bowling won a championship at some point… I think?
But last night’s game against Temple with new coach Derek Mason at the helm did a solid job of pulling the rug out from under us. The 35-7 rout was the first time Temple had ever beaten an SEC team. Great. Pretty sure this was supposed to be Mason’s gimme game. Temple takes a beating from us, they get some national TV exposure, Mason gets a confidence boost, everybody wins. But it didn’t turn out that way. That’s the Vandy football I know and love!
Who cares though? Vanderbilt football isn’t really about the actual football. It’s about getting wasted at a fraternity prior to the game, grinding with chicks on elevated surfaces, attending the game for maybe a quarter, and then returning to the frat house to continue grinding and eating discarded hot dogs that might be lying around.
I digress. The weirdest part about last night’s game was the refs announcing that Vandy would be charged a timeout every quarter because the back of their jerseys sported the school slogan “Anchor Down” instead of their last names.
Mason and his assistant coaches were quick to argue with the refs, and actually showed an email documenting the fact that the head of the SEC had approved the move. After the presentation of documentation, the ref reversed the call.
Fewf, that was a close one. Too bad it didn’t matter in the slightest. I love the Anchor Down jerseys. It’s been hilarious to see my school adopt a war cry after having not had one for over a hundred years. It felt so forced at first, but now I throw anchor down around like it’s my favorite verb. I’m anchoring down on a sandwich as we speak. Might anchor down on some ping pong with a friend of mine after I finish this post. Gonna text a couple buddies to see what they’re looking to anchor down on tonight. That shit doesn’t work with “War Eagle” or “Roll Tide.”
I hope Mason and the rest of the team gets their shit together for the rest of the season and start anchoring down all over the faces of these other SEC teams. I’ll be dead in the cold, cold ground before I go crawling back to that turncoat James Franklin.
Can I get an #AnchorDown?
Officials wanted to penalize Vanderbilt for wearing impermissible "Anchor Down" jerseys, but then didn't. Wait, what? http://t.co/epa3cyxBnC
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) August 29, 2014