Nobody Has Ever Dripped With Sex More Than Vince Wilfork At J.J. Watt’s Charity Softball Tournament

vince wilfork

Vince Wilfork stole the show at J.J. Watt’s Charity Softball Game on Saturday night at Minute Maid Park, donning his signature ‘I’m fixin to fuck your girl’ look he originally debuted on Hard Knocks last year. I don’t have one thing in my wardrobe that can hold a candle to this outfit.

It’s funny because he’s fat. Vince is all of 325 pounds, but the dude is notoriously nimble on his feet. He clocks a 40-yard dash time of 5.08 seconds, eclipsing former teammate Tom Brady’s time of 5.28 seconds. This is incredible when you consider that Vince has 100 pounds on Brady, but not-so-incredible when you remember that Brady is slower than a girls JV softball game.

Vince is so money and he doesn’t even know it.


[h/t For the Win]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.