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Every professional athlete knows they’re going to deal with their fair share of injuries over the course of their career, and while most of them will stem from something that occurred while playing, practicing, or training, there’s only so much you can do to avoid falling victim to accidents in everyday life.
Plenty of teams insert clauses into players’ contracts that bar them from engaging in dangerous activities (like skiing or riding a motorcycle) that increase their chances of being injured, but as we’ve learned time and time again, staying out of trouble is much easier said than done.
If you need proof, you don’t need to look much further than these athletes who found themselves unable to perform their duties for reasons that had nothing to do with the sport they got paid to play.
12 athletes who fell victim to some truly bizarre injuries
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Before we dive into things, I would like to acknowledge a disproportionate number of players on this list made a name for themselves in the MLB.
I don’t consider myself a member of the “Baseball Players Aren’t Real Athletes” Crowd, but there’s something about that line of work that seems to go hand-in-hand with succumbing to strange ailments, and a good chunk of these probably won’t do much to dissuade the people who do subscribe to that mindset.
Including…
Glenallen Hill
Most nightmares are pretty harmless, but that wasn’t the case with the one Blue Jays outfielder Glenallen Hill fell victim to in 1990.
In July, Toronto placed Hill on the 15-day DL after he had a dream about spiders that ended when he woke up shortly after crashing through a glass table in his house and discovering he was covered in cuts and sporting some nasty rugburn on his knees.
Clint Barmes
Rockies infielder Clint Barmes got off to an incredibly hot start when Colorado kicked off its season in 2005, but the campaign was cut short thanks to the broken collarbone he ended up with toward the beginning of June.
Barmes was initially a bit hesitant to shed some light on what transpired; he’d first claimed he’d fallen while carrying groceries after members of the media speculated he’d actually been injured while riding an ATV at the home of teammate Todd Helton.
Both Helton and Barnes denied a mishap connected to the off-road vehicle had been the culprit, but the latter eventually admitted he’d fallen while hauling a package of deer meat Helton had gifted him (he said he decided to make up a cover story in order to prevent his teammate from being blamed for the unfortunate accident that kept him out of action for three months).
Wade Boggs
You’d think the man who allegedly consumed more than 100 beers during a cross-country flight would be able to withstand a fair amount of punishment, but that wasn’t the case when he arrived in Toronto during a road trip in 1986.
Boggs (who was playing for the Red Sox at the time) had thrown on a pair of cowboy boots he tried to remove while standing up when he got back to his hotel room. Unfortunately, he lost his balance when he attempted to use one of his feet to pry one of the boots off of his foot and bruised his ribs after colliding with the arm of a couch.
Boggs attempted to play through the pain but ultimately had to ride the bench for six games until he was able to step back onto the diamond.
Marty Cordova
I think a lot of baseball fans are aware of the tale of Marty Cordova getting placed on the disabled list after allegedly falling asleep in a tanning bed, and while the outfielder denies that was actually the case, the real story is almost as bizarre.
In 2022, Cordova revealed he’d actually fallen victim to a botched medical procedure after visiting a plastic surgeon to treat ingrown hairs in his beard. He noted “It looked like cigars had been put out on my face” but decided to roll with the tanning bed story as a cover because he didn’t want to put the surgeon in question on blast and risk harming his business.
Steve Sparks
You could argue this incident is inextricably linked to the sport Sparks played, as it unfolded at spring training in 1994 shortly after the Brewers brought in a team of motivational speakers representing a company called “Radical Reality” to deploy some over-the-top tactics to pump up the Milwaukee players who’d gathered in Arizona ahead of the season.
The presentation largely revolved around feats of strength, which included a stunt where one of the speakers ripped a phone book in half. Sparks decided to see if he could do the same during a rain delay the next day, but the pitcher quickly learned he could not when he managed to dislocate his shoulder in an unsuccessful quest to impress his teammates.
It wasn’t the first (or the last) time he’d dislocated a joint that plagued him over the course of his career, and while he didn’t miss any significant time due to the setback with his non-throwing arm, it also played a role in the team’s decision to send him to the minors before regular season got underway.
Kevin Mitchell
True donut connoisseurs know there’s no easier way to take the treat to the next level than throwing one in the microwave to warm it up. Unfortunately, Kevin Mitchell went a little bit overboard when he nuked a frosted donut and was forced to get a root canal after the molten chocolate impacted one of his teeth.
He didn’t miss any regular season games as a result, but he was forced to show up to spring training a few days later than the rest of his teammates.
Dustin Penner
Baseball players may make up a good chunk of this list, but they’re not the only athletes who’ve had to deal with some fluke injuries.
Anyone who’s had to grapple with a back injury knows just how debilitating they can be, and former Los Angeles King forward Dustin Penner learned that the hard way when he was sidelined for a game in January 2012.
However, the manner in which he managed to tweak his back is pretty impressive: he’d sat down to eat some pancakes his wife had made for breakfast, and after leaning forward to take a bite, he found himself unable to move and dealing with a string of spasms that prevented him from suiting up for a showdown with the Blue Jackets.
Lionel Simmons
The Game Boy took the world by storm when Nintendo released the handheld console in 1989, and millions of kids around the globe became obsessed with the device that ushered in a new era of video games.
However, there were also plenty of adults who caught the Game Boy bug.
That includes Lionel Simmons, the forward who was selected by the Sacramento Kings with the second overall pick in the 1990 NBA Draft but was forced to miss a couple of games during his rookie campaign after being diagnosed with tendonitis stemming from his Game Boy addiction.
Joel Zumaya
Oh, did you think we were done with baseball? Think again!
Simmons isn’t the only athlete who can credit their love of video games for an injury, but former Detroit Tigers pitcher Joel Zumaya saw his habit bite back at an incredibly inopportune time.
In 2006, the Tigers were facing off against the Athletics in the American League Championship Series when Zumaya was ruled out with inflammation in his throwing arm. The medical staff initially blamed stress stemming from travel and changes in climate for the ailment, but we eventually learned the pitcher had managed to tweak his arm by playing too much Guitar Hero.
Jason Pierre-Paul
The New York Giants selected Jason Pierre-Paul with the 15th overall pick in the 2010 NFL Draft, and the former USF linebacker quickly established himself as an incredibly formidable defensive threat.
However, his future was cast into doubt thanks to what unfolded on the Fourth of July in 2015, as he was rushed into surgery after a firework he was holding exploded and did some severe damage to his right hand.
Doctors had to amputate one of his fingers, and while he was able to play the following season, the hand in question was wrapped with a large “padded club” that hampered his play a bit before he underwent another surgery that allowed him to suit up while wearing a standard glove.
Plaxico Burress
Pierre-Paul isn’t the only member of the Giants who ended up cursing the Chinese for inventing gunpowder.
In 2008, former wide receiver Plaxico Burress derailed his career after shooting himself in the leg with a handgun at a nightclub in New York City. He was not only suspended for the rest of the season but was eventually charged with illegal possession of a firearm and sentenced to two years in jail.
Darren Barnard
Darren Barnard isn’t exactly a household name, but the German-born soccer player made his Premier League debut with Chelsea in 1992 and spent more than a decade as a midfielder for a number of clubs in the United Kingdom (he also appeared in 24 games as a member of the Welsh national team).
Unfortunately, he suffered a major setback in 1999 after getting a new dog and slipping in a puddle of puppy pee that led to him tearing a ligament in his knee that knocked him out of action for five months.