Whatever Bill Walton Took Before The Warriors-Blazers Broadcast Last Night, I Want Two Of Them

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If a magic genie gave me came out of a lamp and granted me three wishes, they would unequivocally be the following: 1.) a seat on the Smash Mouth tour bus 2.) $1 million or one bitcoin 3.) For Bill Walton to follow me around for the rest of my days color commenting my every move.

Last night the hippy Hall of Famer gifted NBA fans with his presence during the Warriors-Blazers game. Walton, typically a Pac 12 broadcaster, was sent up to the majors with David Pasch as ESPN sent NBA broadcasters Mark Jackson and Hubie Brown to Duke. A fun lil swap.

The game itself was incredible, with Damian Lillard dropping 44 in a victorious effort and Kevin Durant tallying up 50. But the real star of the night was Bill Walton. He’s so unpolished and whimsical, yet so goddamn entertaining. A true one man wrecking crew. Check out some of the highlights of the game Bill Walton commenting on the game.

Walton gets deep with Doris.

His incessant fanboying of Steph Curry:

Swaggy who?

Kevin Durant = Steve Jobs. Simple math.

Bill skipping his homework.

Bill on losing faith.

Bill makes a poignant point about science.

This dude is a national treasure.

[h/t Uproxx]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.