Oh Virgil. Former WWE bodyguard turned wrestler turned NWO-flunkie turned autograph session meme, you amazing bastard, never change!
When we last left Mike Jones, AKA Virgil, he was probably alone at a table in a convention center. I don’t remember where we last left him, honestly, but he’s resurfaced today after starting his own GoFundMe page to become, ironically, a “million dollar man.”
Remember me? I am Mike Jones AKA Wrestling Superstar Virgil. I am the real deal. I have been around the world 30 times and my life has always been about the hustle. I started out in the old WWF as the bodyguard of the Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase and said to myself now it is now MY TIME to be the Millionaire. If you have watched wrestling than you know who I am. I will inspire you that million dollar dreams can come true. Show your love for your favorite wrestler ever by giving me $1, $10, $100, shit $1000 and make me a MILLIONAIRE. You could make this happen and I will forever be grateful. Everyday I hustle and now I am trying to show the world that this dog can be taught new tricks!
Here’s the amazing part — the page has over 2K FB shares! Here’s the sad part — he’s collected six donations for a whopping $30. Really, really amazing news — the comment section of the page.
“I am Virgil’s manager at Arby’s & I am very upset he is using company time to beg people for money. Especially when we had a discussion with him this past week about his time management & inability to salt curley fries properly. Not mention the cases of melted cheese that have come up missing. Virgil, million dollar belts and dropping Brutus Beefcake’s name to customers doesn’t do shit. They just want to know why you didn’t put Arby’s sauce in the bag. GET BACK TO WORK OR YOU WILL HEAR “YOU’RE FIRED!” coming from me & not Vince.” — Brad
“If I give you $10, will you make me some potato salad?” — Adolfo
“I remember one time Virgil was setup outside the Waffle House here in Akron Ohio,he kept trying to arm wrestle him. If he won I paid him $20,if I won I paid him $20. I think a homeless guy took all his signed 8×10’s. Poor bastard must not have realized what he took.” — Paul
“Fuck! You stole my idea!” — Brutus Beefcake