The Best Beard Balms On Amazon 2018 — A No-Nonsense Review
Real talk: I’m proud to call myself a hairy guy and that’s why I only want the best beard balms. I hate shaving and I’m pretty sure that male grooming companies that make billions by marketing the b.s. of shaving really hate me. I’ve had the ability to grow a full beard since the age of 15, rocking whiskers for most of my adult life. I love my beard.
Like woodworking or planting a garden, growing a Odin-esque beard takes time and dedication. Think of a beard as trailing moss hanging from the bough of some aged oak.
A few weeks ago, I went to a barbershop in Los Angeles for a beard shape-up. I asked him about my maintenance routine for my face fleece — shampoo, conditioner, and occasionally some beard oil. He scoffed at me, telling me I was doing more harm than good.
“Stop doing that. Immediately. Just get yourself some good beard balm.”
A man’s beard is an extension of himself. But that doesn’t mean you can let it go like a lumberjack in the 1890s. Beardruff is a big problem once your beard ages a couple months, as is the dreaded beard itch from dry skin that drives a grizzly man to do the unthinkable: Shave his face. Plus, no one likes a beard with split ends like a Civil War general– Why look like a mangy cat rather than embracing your true Sasquatch?
That’s why a great beard must be maintained with a proper, all-natural beard balm. Over time, wash-in shampoo and conditioner will dry your beard out, destroying the protein in those prickly hairs instead of nourishing it. A good beard oil with natural ingredients like Argan, avocado, Jojoba, and almond oils will help restore your beard and leave it shiny, but it won’t help you shape it to look more robust like a true Gandalf beard.
Insert beard balm, the men’s grooming essential that every beardsman needs to apply on the reg. Almost all beard balms include beeswax to help shape your beard, alongside a variety of all-natural ingredients and oils to properly condition those hairs. In addition to coconut, Argan, avocado, Jojoba, and almond oils, many beard balms out there include raw Shea butter and Vitamin E. Not only does beard balm make your facial hair look and feel softer, it makes it smell fantastic.
I want you to live your best bearded life. Self-improvement while embracing your manly awesomeness is the drum we beat to here at BroBible. So I put together a non-nonsense guide to the very best beard balms on Amazon.
If you have a recommendation for a great beard balm that I need to try (… or just want to talk woodsman lumberjack life), throw me a follow on Twitter @brandonwenerd
Without further ado, here are a few of my favorites beard balm options on Amazon…
Honest Amish Beard Balm Leave-in Conditioner
Honest Amish is one of the most popular beard balms on Amazon, with thousands and thousands and thousands of units sold. It’s also one of the cheapest beard balms on Amazon. Hailing from the tiny town halfway between Erie and Pittsburgh, Honest Amish whips up a blend from scratch using only 100% natural, organic and sustainable ingredients. The base blend consists of virgin argan, avocado, almond, virgin pumpkin seed, and apricot kernal oils, with shea, aloe, cocoa, and kokum butters added to keep your whiskers extra soft. It keeps your beard nice and soft, but the best thing is thing is the smell: There’s a touch of clove, a little black licorice, and lots of citrus-spice notes.
Just a little dab goes a long way.
Magic Beard Balm by Mountaineer Brand
Founded by a brother-sister duo in West Virginia, Mountaineer Brand is lauded for keeping beards soft. Their signature beard balm is scented with grapefruit, lime, and fir needle, leaving beards smelling like a pine grove forest. There’s no aloe in the all-natural blend, but it does contain grapeseed Oil, almond oil, beeswax, sheabutter, cocoa butter, coconut oil, vitamin E, lime oil, fir needle oil, and grapefruit oil.
Say goodbye to that pesky beard itch.
Grave Before Shave — MISC Scents
Spice is the variety of life. California-based GRAVE BEFORE SHAVE is all about *options* with their all-natural beard balms. There’s a cigar-scent beard balm. A bay rum beard balm. A bourbon beard balm. Even a tequila limon beard balm. Despite all the varieties, their scents are significantly more mild compared to more over-powering options in the marketplace.
Bonus points for having some of the coolest label packaging in the beard balm game. It’s like Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas meets manscaping.