John Mayer Wrote An Essay About His Personal Style And The Internet Can’t Stop Making Jokes

John Mayer

John Mayer, accomplished singer-songwriter and guitarist in Dead and Company, owns whatever room he happens to find himself in. Dude can show up to a gala in sweats and a vintage gym crew neck from a Tokyo boutique and just own it. He also singlehandedly made Costco’s $18 Kirkland 11 sneakers cool a few summers ago and brought back the classic L.L. Bean kangaroo pouch windbreak.

Style is John Mayer’s whole thing, along with shredin’ the shit out of the guitar and extolling some thoughtful insight about life, the universe, and everything on Instagram. That’s why you should read the essay he penned for GQ, showing the magazine the inside of his closet. He went deep on topics such “my many uses for a robe” – I don’t think he’s talking about a moldy terrycloth bathrobe in this case.

My many uses for a robe:

  1. Robe, as directed.
  2. Blanket/personal tent on an airplane.
  3. Pillow in the back of an SUV.
  4. Blanket on a hotel bed.
  5. Photo background.

Everyone scratches their head about my wearing a robe until they try mine on. Then they understand completely. It’s a jacket, but it’s more laid-back. It’s a tent you can hang out inside of as you go about your day. It’s a security blanket of sorts. I still haven’t explained it perfectly, because I can’t. You just have to try one on that fits you right. Then you want it to take through your day like a companion.

Other great Mayer-ims:

Those boots you see? They shine like that because they’ve been polished with the splashes of a thousand beers. I wore these every day back when I lived (and drank) in New York City, and they’re a perfect example of something getting so broken in they emerge a new kind of perfect. These are from 2009, the first version of the Visvim Seven-Hole ’73-Folk boot.

I have a pair of boots like that. Red Wings. Heavy as shit, endured many-a NYC rainstorm and bar crawl. Just paid to ship them across the country from my parents place to LA, where I can’t wait to get them shined up. We ALL have a pair of boots like that because there’s a universal sameness to our trip, ya know?

Look, just go read the whole thing. GQ did a good job with it and we appreciate original content like that around here. You don’t need my .02 to get the gist of the man’s closet.

But here’s where it gets fun: The Internet, of course, decided to have a hoot with the ‘fit pics that accompany the article.

John, this is what happens when you play Room Raiders with yourself.

Brandon Wenerd avatar
BroBible's publisher and a founding partner, circa 2009. Brandon is based in Los Angeles, where he oversees BroBible's partnership team and other business development activities. He still loves to write and create content, including subjects related to internet culture, food, live music, Phish, the Grateful Dead, Philly sports, and adventures of all kinds. Email: