Hey, bro. Have you heard the joke about the broken pencil?
Never mind. It’s pointless.
ANY AGENTS WILLING TO REP A BURGEONING COMIC, DM ME!
After scrolling through Forbes list of the World’s Highest Paid Comedians of 2018, I’m seriously considering of overcoming my crippling fear of public speaking and flying tomatoes to take the stage.
Forbes methodology for the list:
All earnings estimates are from June 1, 2017, through June 1, 2018. Figures are pretax; fees for agents, managers and lawyers are not deducted. Earnings estimates are based on data from Pollstar Pro as well as interviews with industry insiders.
10. Sebastian Maniscalco
Earnings: $15 million
“Someone asked me why I don’t have any tattoos. I said: You don’t put bumper stickers on a Ferrari.”
9. Jeff Dunham
Earnings: $16.5 million
“There’s no real formula for doing it, it’s either living life and writing down a joke in the middle of the day and then piece those together later.”
8. Jim Gaffigan
Earnings: $17.5 million
My wife’s gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, ‘pregnant.'”
7. Terry Fator (puppet comic)
Earnings: $18 million
6. Gabriel Iglesias
Earnings: $20.5 million
“Some people can handle alcohol. You know who you are. Some people can’t handle alcohol. The police know who you are.”
5. Ricky Gervais
Earnings: $25 million
“Remember, if you don’t sin, then Jesus died for nothing.”
4. Chris Rock
Earnings: $30 million
“Marriage is hard, man. Marriage is so hard Nelson Mandela got a divorce. Nelson Mandela spent 27 years in a South African prison getting tortured and beaten every day of his life for 27 straight years. He got out of jail, spent six months with his wife and was like “I can’t take this shit.”
3. Dave Chappelle
Earnings: $35 million
2. Kevin Hart
Earnings: $57 million
“Lying ruined my (expletive) marriage. That’s a lie. I cheated.”
1. Jerry Seinfeld
Earnings: $57.5 million
‘Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. You get a sense of it and you look away.”
Since Forbes started tracking the earnings of the highest-paid comedians in 2006, Seinfeld has topped the list every year with the exception of 2016, when he was dethroned by Kevin Hart.
The fact that Bill Burr isn’t on this list is personally insulting. Not even an honorable mention for the funniest dude in the game.