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THE HEADLINES

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SNAPCASH POOR

Not unlike your filthy, smut pics that vanish in-app, Snap’s money is doing a disappearing act of its own. Snapchat’s parent company saw its shares dip five percent on news that its coffers were running low. The stock closed at a measly $7 per share.

SNAP took a plunge after a scathing analyst report suggested that the company was “quickly running out of money.” Analysts also implied that if Snap continues down this path it may need to raise new funding as soon as next year.

CEO Evan Spiegel said in a recent memo that he wants the company to turn profitable in 2019 while taking the blame for a recent app redesign that drew the ire of users globally. With yesterday’s losses, Snap has shed almost 60% of its initial share price. The app IPOed at $17 in March of last year.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “Don’t we all want to be profitable in 2019?”

 

MINE YOUR BUSINESS

Coal-miner Westmoreland filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy on Tuesday. The Rust-Belt hasn’t been this upset since Applebee’s killed off the $1 Long Island Iced Tea.

Westmoreland has agreed to sell its mining business, consisting of roughly $770M in assets, to a group of lenders in an effort to reduce its $1.4B in debt. The company originally warned about the going concern in April. A drop in sales and production volume in the US and Canada is to blame for the decision.

In what appears to be a sign of the times, the fossil fuel provider faced volatile prices and competition from cheaper natural gas providers. The move will put roughly 250 people out of work, although the company is seeking approval from a judge to continue paying wages, benefits, taxes, insurance, and utilities while it’s under Chapter 11 protection.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “Because if there is one thing this world needs it’s a bunch of coal miners with nothing to lose, getting paid to do nothing in East Bumf*ck, USA. What’s the worst that could happen?”

 

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED …

Who can believe it’s already been a full year since Google came out with a phone that hardly anybody bought? But alas, here we are. Google plans to drop the Pixel 3 next Thursday, October 18th … even though nobody asked for it. The phone will start at $799, a relative bargain compared to the latest iPhone.

Google hired a former President of Motorola to develop its new hardware division in 2016. Since then, Rick Osterloh has been focused on dethroning the iPhone and Samsung Galaxy. Admittedly, there’s some work left to do. The Pixel 2 sold just 3.9M units in 2017, compared to 216M iPhones.

The Pixel’s reviews are pretty solid thus far as the phone boasts a much-improved camera and OLED screen. Its only major flaw? That it isn’t an iPhone …

Water Cooler Talking Point: “What a roller coaster of emotions for Google fanboys and girls. They may not be able to access their Google+ profile, but at least they have a second-rate phone to look forward to.”

 

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IN OTHER NEWS

• Nabisco owner Mondelez announced that it will make its packaging fully recyclable by 2025. For some reason, the Double Stuf Oreo crowd doesn’t exactly scream “eco-conscious.”

 

• Having had his way with the once-great retailer, Eddie Lampert has read Sears its last rights and turned it over to its executioner, bankruptcy adviser M-III Partners. The boutique advisory firm whose expertise is death by Chapter 11, will prepare bankruptcy paperwork, with plans to file as soon as this week. With $134M in debt coming due on Monday, the company is seeking to avoid default.

 

• Rent to buy. SoftBank announces that it could be interested in buying a majority stake in WeWork. The total investment could be between $15B and $20B, and surprise, surprise, coming from the VisionFund.

 

• Activist investor Bill Ackman reveals that his hedge fund has a $900M stake in Starbucks. We peg Ackman as a unicorn frapp kinda guy.

 

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