Snapchat’s Impressive Earnings; SpaceX Falcon Heavy Launch; ESPN Cuts The Cord

by 9 months ago

The Water Coolest

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THE HEADLINES

Estimated Read Time: 3 minutes and 19 seconds

 

SNAPCASH FLOW

Snapchat is like that friend from your hometown who still lives in his parent’s basement: he’s constantly disappointing everyone around him so when he does something even remotely positive the excitement is palpable. 

Evan Spiegel’s dick-pic sharing app lost $350M vs. a predicted $440M in Q4. That brings Snap’s total loss for 2017 to $3.45B. Daily active users (DAUs), one of Silicon Valley’s favorite buzzwords, increased by 8.9M in Q4. What size rock do you have to be living under to just be hearing about Snapchat now?

Snap’s stock rose above its IPO price on the good (read: not as bad as everyone thought) news. But there is optimism that Snapchat is ready to sit at the big kid table, having made updates to its interface (which has had mixed reviews), programmatic ad revenue is becoming more profitable and most importantly, your mom still hasn’t signed up for Snapchat.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “Will they just let Spectacles die already? They haven’t been cool since Evan Spiegal was still driving a Miata and dating non-super models. The fact that they are a line item in Snap’s earnings report is an insult to investor’s intelligence.”

 

SIZE MATTERS

What cures a headache caused by miles of red tape, countless design change delays and a $1B investment? Launching your car into orbit on your rocket. SpaceX’s Falcon Heavy launch sent the largest rocket currently in use towards the heavens. This isn’t a rocket measuring contest but Elon’s isn’t quite as big as the Saturn V that carried astronauts to the moon.

Loaded with a Tesla Roadster, complete with a dummy dressed in a space suit, the Falcon Heavy took off from the Kennedy Space Center at 3:45 PM on Tuesday. Musk’s Big F*ckin’ Rockets carry the thrust equivalent of 18 Boeing 747s.

After liftoff, the center core of the rocket, the part carrying Elon’s car, was supposed to break away and land back on one of SpaceX’s drone ship. That piece of the rocket apparently missed its mark, according to an unlisted live stream of the launch that continued after cameras stopped rolling. So basically we missed the best part. You’re better than that, Elon.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “At this point in my life, owning a brand new Tesla seems like a pipe dream. Launching that brand new Tesla into space? That’s a financial stratosphere we all hope to reach someday (pun intended).”

 

OVER-THE-TOP, A DISNEY STORY

Last year Disney announced that they would remove all of their movies from Netflix. The reason? They were planning to create a streaming service all their own. Don’t worry, you can still watch Toy Story 4 on Netflix through 2018.

Today Disney announced it is re-launching the ESPN app with an over-the-top feature called “ESPN plus,” that allows users to stream ESPN programs for $4.99/month. The “plus” translates roughly to “every f*cking sporting event ever.” The app will stream live sporting events not seen on other ESPN channels. If a live sporting event isn’t making it onto “the Ocho”, who is actually watching it? Right Cotton?

The ESPN Plus app is Disney’s answer to “cord-cutters” and “cord-nevers” who are “starting to adopt less expensive, over-the-top packages,” according to CEO Bob Iger. The app will stream over 10k MLB, NHL, MLS, collegiate, and Grand Slam tennis events. Disney’s stock jumped on the news. Consider that a fairy tale ending.

Water Cooler Talking Point: “I can’t wait to FINALLY see the Prairie View A&M vs. Texas Southern field hockey game this year. GO LADY PANTHERS!”

 


IN OTHER NEWS

 

  • Steve Wynn is out as the CEO of Wynn Resorts after allegations of sexual misconduct. And to think, you just started to believe that rich guys in Vegas weren’t super creepy.
  • Uber and Bell Helicopters are partnering to bring us flying taxis. The flying cabs will be functional by 2025 according to Uber. The bad news? “Get to the choppa” jokes are going to get old really fast.
  • Game of Thrones directors David Benioff and D.B. Weiss are set to direct a Star Wars’ spinoff. We’re interested to see how they manage to work nudity into the Star Wars’ universe. 
  • Doritos says they’re rolling out a new chip with less crunch and cheese dust made exclusively for women. There’s no way that this could end poorly. 
  • US indices were up yesterday:
    • DOW: +2.33%
    • S&P 500: +1.74%
    • NASDAQ: +2.13%

 


TALKING SHOP

Professional motivation, tips, tricks, hacks & resources carefully-curated by yours truly. Something you’d like to see featured? Shoot me an email at team@thewatercoolest.com

 

LET’S GET IT ON

I’m not easily sold on things. So when one of my favorite new podcasts, American History Tellers, pulled the old bait-and-switch and tried to sell me on one of the other podcasts living on their network, Wondery, I was skeptical.

Meet Business Wars, a highly produced (think: NOT Joe Rogan rambling for 2 hours) podcast that mixes American Greed, those explainer scenes in the Big Short and Celebrity Death Match to create a story about two companies going at it the the no-holds barred gauntlet that is the world of commerce.

The first episode is about Netflix and Blockbuster trading hay makers in the mid-2000’s and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t picking sides like your grandmother watching day-time telenovelas even though she doesn’t speak Spanish.

(BTW, Business Wars didn’t pay me to say any of this)

 

SERVE AND PROTECT

Citizens of New York City can breathe a bit easier tonight, the biggest threat to their security and well-being is off the streets: police officer’s standard issue Nokia Windows phones.

Their new weapon of choice? iPhone 7’s.

So it got me thinking. What’s your preferred work phone? Blackberry, Android, iPhone … or do you go dark outside of working hours? Let me know at team@thewatercoolest.com


TAGSBusinessbusiness newscareer adviceElon MuskESPN APPESPN PlusSnap earningsSnapchatSpaceXtesla

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