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THE HEADLINES

 

EARNING AND BURNING

What if I told you … that the greatest stories ever told were written in 280 characters or less?

It’s earnings szn and there was no bigger winner yesterday than Twitter.

Shares of @Jack’s company shot up roughly 15% after the company reported better than expected revenue. How much better? Revenue beat analysts projections of $774M by $13M, an 18% increase over Q1 of last year.

Better yet? Net income more than tripled, from $61M to an astonishing $191M. If we take out the tax benefit, net income came in at a slightly-less-impressive $66M, or 9 cents per share.

But why?

Twitter’s new (and completely made up) monetizable Daily Active Users (mDAU) figure increased 8M from last quarter to 134M, beating analysts expectations of 128M.

And it probably doesn’t hurt that Twitter is becoming … wait for it … “innovative” again. A focus on live streaming video, especially a partnership with Turner and the NBA, has helped bolster engagement. Plus, the company’s recently launched twttr app will act as a testing ground for the company to develop more user-friendly features.

Hot take alert: Or, none of the metrics above matter and the stock shot up because Jack’s meeting with Trump went really, really well. Who knows? *Kanye shrug*

 

WE FLY HIGH, NO LIE, YOU KNOW THIS

One of Alphabet’s subsidiary companies became the first to gain FAA approval for drone delivery. The spinoff, Wing Aviation is the only drone business that is recognized as an “airline” by the government. In addition to the delivery of goods, the drones emit a smoke pattern that spells out “Suck it Bezos!” after every package delivered.

The pilot program is launching in a handful of rural towns in Southern Virginia.

No fly zone

Turns out, the main difference between an FAA regulated “airline” and that drone you bought at Radioshack is a few notarized documents.

Wing prepared extensive manuals, training routines, and safety protocols in order to get sign off. That, and the company had to be majority owned by a US citizen. In what appears to be a courtesy to its competitors, Wing has worked with the FAA to streamline its process.

Homegrown

Wing hopes to win over hearts and minds by working to deliver local businesses’ products vs. Amazon PrimeAir which aims to distribute its own goods more efficiently. Creating a sense of community might be just what Wing needs to keep Bezos’ at bay and get public buy-in on this Orwellian tech.

 

BACK ON TRACK

The S&P 500 and Nasdaq composites closed at their highest points on record Tuesday. This historic bull run can trace its roots to the Fed’s announcement that it would keep interest rates steady back in January. The markets run represents the strongest Q1 in more than 20 years.

You may remember that similar “hockey stick” growth during 2018 was curtailed by heavy losses during a fourth-quarter sell-off. And now let’s have a moment of silence to remember Christmas Eve 2018. The end of year selloff was so severe that the Nasdaq risked entering a bear market, while the S&P flirted with the end of its still intact longest-ever bull run.

On Tuesday, the S&P rose 25.71 points, besting its previous closing high of 2,933.68 back in September. And the Nasdaq index was up 105.56 points, closing at 8,102.82, the highest level since its previous record-setting close on August 29th.

 

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IN OTHER NEWS

• No smoke, no smoke. Walgreens is raising the age at which customers can purchase tobacco to 21 as it’s come under fire from the FDA. Walgreen’s was put “on notice” by the FDA in February, as the governing body threatens sanctions after it accused the drug store chain of selling tobacco to minors. The rules go into effect September 1st, so get your smokes while you can, teenagers.

 

• Snap had a better than expected performance vs. analyst predictions, despite still losing money. The ephemeral chat app for sending dong pics lost only 10 cents per share, compared to the predicted 12 cents, while bringing in $320M in revenue compared to a predicted $307M. Shares jumped 11% on the news, before leveling off and closing up 1%.

 

• SoftBank founder Masayoshi Son bet big on bitcoin … and lost. Masayoshi made his investment in 2017, at the peak of the bitcoin bubble, and upon selling found himself out a cool $130M. When your net worth is $19B, who misses $130M?

 

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