Bros, I found the recipe to scoring literally any chick your heart desires: just be one of the best soccer players in the world worth a cool $280 million and kind of look like a tan wax statue. Pretty straight forward, right? Ready, BREAK!
Fucking Ronaldo, man. The dude looks like he hasn’t had a carb since 2006, which is coincidently the last time he put on a shirt. So it makes sense that he recently posted up by a pool in Miami this weekend to flaunt his physique and casually pick up the hottest chick at the resort. Just by sitting down and breathing.
Her identity has yet to be confirmed, but she resembles Kate Hudson with the backside of Amber Rose.
Cristiano Ronaldo — Kissing Hot Mystery Chick … At Miami Pool (PHOTO GALLERY) https://t.co/Q1gEuZd5l1
— TMZ (@TMZ) August 1, 2016
Per TMZ,
The two were all about the PDA — holding each other in the pool … and literally getting on top of each other on the deck chairs.
At one point, a smokin’ hot friend came over and began smackin’ the lady on her butt — and no one complained.
I guess this shouldn’t come as a surprise to me. Let’s take a trip down memory lane and revisit 10 of Cristiano’s alleged old flames. Compare them to your top 10 if you want to cry over your mobile phone.
Karina Bacchi – Brazilian Actress who posed for Playboy
Bipasha Basu – Bollywood Actress
Gemma Atkinson – Lingerie Model
https://www.instagram.com/p/BIILFIGgOj-/?taken-by=glouiseatkinson&hl=en
Raffaella Fico -Beauty Queen
Irina Shayk — Super model
Isabel Figueira — Portuguese actress
Luciana Abreu — Portuguese singer
https://www.instagram.com/p/q9pklXGSl3/?taken-by=lucianaabreuoficial&hl=en
Alic Goodwin –Model
https://www.instagram.com/p/BHzgoAThS_9/?taken-by=xxalicegoodwinxx&hl=en
Imogen Thomas — Model
https://www.instagram.com/p/BHFOqYJDlHm/?taken-by=imogen_thomas&hl=en
Kim Kardashian — Famous for nothing