Bible Changes Every Mention Of God With Kanye West In ‘The Book Of Yeezus,’ And Someone’s Going To Hell

by 3 years ago
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Traditionally, Easter has been a celebration of the resurrection of a man who got nailed to a cross for humanity’s salvation and sin-cleansing. Jesus, love you, man, but like you really didn’t have to do that for me. I’m kind of a piece of shit.

But times have changed, Jesus. Sorry, bro. Hey thanks for enduring incomprehensible amounts of pain so that I can spend my days scouring Porn Hub and snorting things up my nose, but I think it’s time you step out of the limelight and we worship a new diety. Like the guy who said this:

“I am God’s vessel. But my greatest pain in life is that I’ll never be able to see myself perform live.”

-Corinthians 3:12

Or made us stand in line and pay a mortgage payment for these fucking vagina-repellents.

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Ya, let’s worship that guy.

And thanks to an Etsy user, we already have the text: ‘The Book of Yeezus.’ Admittedly, it has such a better ring to it. Jesus’ marketing department must have been sleeping on the job because the name ‘The Bible’ makes me want to take a sinful nap.

The price of the book is around $20 and it comes in hardcover form with gold imprinted letters on the front. Every mention of God is replaced with ‘Kanye West,’ naturally. The creator of the book says that every generation needs a superstar and Kayne is ours.

“Each generation champions a superstar, so consistently relevant that they come to accompany that generation through it’s evolution, being a part of and ultimately shaping its identity. Such past icons have been the likes of Frank Sinatra, Marilyn Monroe, John Lennon, or Michael Jackson. For this generation, Generation Y, Kanye West is not only its greatest spectacle, but in some senses, a spiritual figure.”

Alright bros, give me a two-clap if you’re buying one.

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No word yet on whether or not the creator of this text has gotten struck by lightning or possessed with demons.

[H/T Unilad]


TAGSBibleEasterJesusKanye West

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