Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. If you knowingly plan on sticking your HIV hog in your girlfriend and have the HIV-ridden balls to joke about it in front of her, you don’t not deserve to be bamboozled by a motor vehicle. Like if I was a bystander and the lady stopped her car to explain to me that the dude banged her with a death stick, I’d probably just throw a few traffic cones around his lifeless body and carry on with my life. Maybe I’d reach into his pockets to see if he had any cash, but otherwise I’d ignore him like Candy Crush invitations. I’m no judge, but I’d call a broken vertebrae and a smushed brains and even trade for a lifetime of HIV and a dented Mustang grill.
Also, can someone please enlighten me on where we’re at with HIV? Is it a death sentence or can you drink a glass of vinegar water and rub some dirt on it and buy the Dodgers? If a doctor told me today that I have HIV, I honestly wouldn’t know whether to apply to the Make-a-Wish Foundation or take an ibuprofen and forget about it.
P.S. Julia Roberts on meth or nah?