The Houston Astros have recently unveiled the only gimmick that may keep fans in their seats to watch a team that hasn’t made the playoffs in 10 years: The Chicken and Waffle Cone.
And now I finally have an answer to the question my aunt always asks me: “If you could choose one meal before being sent to the electric chair, what would it be?” Not only because it’s a delicious concoction of deep fried chicken, fluffy mashed potatoes, and tangy honey mustard in a fucking ice cream cone, but because it would probably kill me before the 8,000 volts of electricity did.
Houston is no stranger to heart-stopping snacks. Here’s a list of the available menu items at Minute Maid Park:
Texas Hot Dog: All beef hot dog wrapped in bacon and placed in a Texas Toast bun, lathered with jalepeno relish.
Freddy Fender: A chorizo sausage laid in a fat pretzel bun encased in a deep friend tortilla. Topped with grilled onions, pico de gallo, and cotija cheese.
BBQ Baked Potato: A baked potato covered in A STICK OF BUTTER, cheese, bacon, green onions, topped with BBQ Brisket.
As a Red Sox fan, I’m not satisfied with witnessing three World Series titles until I can get some deep fried nachos on a stick and an ice cream cone filled with death meats. Stop sleeping on the job, John Henry.
[H/T C4]