Kim Kardashian injects blood into her face

Kim Kardashian


Guys this is really gross and messed up and weird and I hate it and it makes me want to barf. At this point I’m starting to think that the entire Kardashian family are actually demons like in the Devil May Cry games sent to Earth to feed off of our souls and destroy our world. And now Kim Kardashian is actually bathing in human blood. On television, no less.

On this week’s Kourtney And Kim Take Miami, we see the secret to Kim’s smooth, clean skin: blood. It’s called the Vampire Facelift, and it’s absolutely disgusting. Here’s how it works: a doctor takes blood from your arm and separate the platelets and uses chemicals to “activate” them into a viscous gel that allegedly has rejuvenating properties when you inject it into your face. It costs about a thousand bucks per session and, of course, there are absolutely no scientific studies that back it up in any way. And this isn’t even the first time that the Kardashians have used bodily fluids for cosmetic purposes – just a few weeks ago, Kim used Kourtney’s breast milk to treat a rash.

How disgusting and obsessed with your own body do you have to be to get to the point that injecting blood into your face is a good idea? This whole clip was incredibly difficult to watch, from the gigantic needle that the doctor used to drain Kim’s blood to the vile, red aftermath where Kim looked like she’d just made out with a used maxipad for an hour.

Thankfully, this whole procedure was done before Kim got knocked up with Kanye West’s baby, but if I were that fetus I’d be pretty worried. It’s quite possible that Kim Kardashian just wants to eat the placenta and throw the baby out.