Let’s talk about this ‘Teen Mom’ sex tape

MTV

Because that’s the kind of thing we talk about nowadays. Sex tapes: why do you need to make them? If you really want to watch yourself getting your bone on, here’s a simple tip: plug the camera’s output into your TV’s input, but don’t hit record. It never does anybody any good. Unless, of course, you’re a disgusting piece of MTV human garbage who is desperate for attention. Like Teen Mom‘s Farrah Abraham.

Teen Mom is one of those shows that looks great on paper – let’s try to humanize these young women who are denigrated by society and shed some light on their struggles. Unfortunately, it’s actually just a sewer for a batch of attention whores to behave badly for the cameras. One of the original four cast members is in jail, and now that the show’s over, single mother Farrah Abraham still wants some of the spotlight – and she’s getting it with a sex tape.

TMZ broke the news on the tape, of course, but the story got pretty weird from there. When the paparazzi cornered Abraham to ask her about the video – which is reportedly over a half an hour of action in multiple positions – she denied everything in a hilariously stupid video. Oh, and she also doesn’t know the meaning of the word “elaborate.” And then she threatened to sue

Cut to a day later, when Farrah was photographed holding hands with porn star James Deen – he of The Canyons fame – walking into the offices of porn purveyor Vivid Entertainment. When asked if the pair were dating, Deen replied that he’d just met her yesterday – on the set of their porn shoot.

So I guess that this isn’t a “sex tape” per se and more of a “porn debut.” Following in the footsteps of Octomom. I’m sure her daughter Sophia will be so proud to learn that her former teen mom is a strong woman who made the money for more plastic surgery, lingerie and booze by taking dicks on camera. Great message, everybody. Good work today.