Miley Cyrus Vs. The Jews


First the tit shots, then the Jew hate. All part of the plan, people. There’s a certain trajectory that celebrity meltdowns seem to take in the 21st century. You do the drugs, then you do the nudity, then you do the anti-Semitism (just ask Mel Gibson). Miley Cyrus has now rounded third base.

In an interview with Hunger TV, Cyrus had some choice comments about the music industry, saying “It’s always weird when things are targeted for young people yet they’re driven by people that are like 40 years too old. It can’t be like this 70 year old Jewish man that doesn’t leave his desk all day, telling me what the clubs want to hear.”

The thing is, does Miley Cyrus really think that these “70 year old Jewish men” are making the decisions at record labels? Does she think Lyor Cohen is sitting at his desk nervously fidgeting his yarmulke and saying “Oy, there’s not enough oboe on this dubstep single! Get rid of this Skrillex schmegege and sign eight more klezmer bands?” Miley, the old Jews who own record companies know what’s hot in the clubs the exact same way you do: they hire a black guy to tell them.

And really, how many old Jewish men are even in charge of record companies anymore? I called Jay-Z to ask him if being in the Illuminati makes you an honorary Jew but the number I have for him is wrong. After a quick Wikipedia search, I could only find one Jew over 60 in a major record company role – and that’s Doug Morris, who runs Sony, who owns RCA, Miley’s label.

So what’s next for Miley now that she’s called out the Chosen People who secretly run everything? Will her career survive? I think the obvious next step is a duet with Borat. They both have the same taste in swimsuits, after all.