8. Scranton Parade Day, University of Scranton
Your Take: “Car bombs are flowing at 7:00 am. The entire city is completely smashed by noon.” — Brendan, Scranton
“Even though we don’t even go to the parade we ordered about 145 kegs for the best house parties of the year.” — Danny, Scranton
Our Take: Scranton is allegedly home to the second-largest St. Patrick’s day parade in the country. (The largest is New York’s.) Scranton is home to only 75,000 people. (New York is home to over eight million.) You can see where this is going: The town Michael Scott made famous gets pretty, pretty excited for this holiday.
Students at the university, along with thousands of friends and strangers from out of town, traditionally start the day with some good ole fashioned car bombs. And, as the day progresses, they’ll continue drinking beer and liquor, while maybe cataching a bit of the parade if they’re lucky.
If they’re not? It’s house party heaven.
7. State Patty’s Day, Penn State
Your Take: None.
Our Take: State Patty’s Day (actually held the last Saturday of February) is a few spots lower than it would be in a normal year. At its peak, the party was a premier college event, an occasion for State College’s pubs and bars to be completely overrun with raconteurs and drunkards.
Then, the ban hammer came down. All bars were banned from serving alcohol on February 23. Actually…. They weren’t banned, so much as bribed to the tune of 5 grand an establishment.
And, for 2013 at least, the massive celebration was relegated to just a few private apartment parties. But one BroBible writer remembers how great it once was, and how great it can be again. Alum Jared Freid:
“Why is State Patty’s Day the best? Simply, because of how it started. I mentioned this in a column a few weeks back, but State Patty’s Day was created out of a sheer will to drink. The administration tried to pull a fast one on the student body by planning Spring Break during St Patrick’s Day so the student body collectively shook their finger side to side, Dikembe Mutombo-style, and created another day to drink for no reason. I’m sure every school has an awesome St Patty’s Day celebration. I’m sure they are just as crazy as Penn State’s. But how hard did they work to make that happen? Switching St Patty’s Day is like switching the rotation of the Earth. There’s a lot of momentum to push against.”
The best example is a hot college chick. She’s very into the schedule. She’s very into telling you “how totes cray cray finals have been. She doesn’t just drink unless the world is pushing for it. She doesn’t need “you’re sorta kinda St Patty’s Day” on a different day. The hot chick doesn’t come unless there’s a movement (repeat this to yourself whenever having sex).”
Well, consider the Penn State student body moved.”
6. Fake Patty’s Day, Kansas State
Your Take: “During Fake Patty’s, Aggieville, the local bar district at K-State, is blocked off because of how many people are partying. People come from all over the country to celebrate Fake Patty’s. I personally have met people from as far away as Alaska who came just for Fake Patty’s. It is such a big party that other universities sometimes send volunteer teams to help clean up after. The city of Manhattan has to bring in cops from around the state to help.” — Tanner, Kansas State
Our Take: A celebration that traditionally takes place the Saturday before Saint Patrick’s Day, Fake Patty’s Day begins at 6 a.m., attracts a WIDE swath of people across the country, and is known as Manhattan’s biggest day drinking event of the year. One news report from the 9th—which features one of the funniest pictures of a guy dancing in front of cops that you’ll ever see—said that, while arrests were unfortunately up 34%, thousands of people descended upon Aggieville for the revelry.
For that reason alone, we’d be willing to risk spending the night in a Manhattan jail.
5. St. Pat’s Five Points, South Carolina
Your Take: “They literally close off the whole Five Points, the downtown area, from any cars. Then they have like four-five concerts going on while everyone proceeds to get absolutely hammered. And that’s just the day, at night the bars are absolutely packed.” — Andrew, South Carolina
“No open container laws, this is the one day the entire year where cops aren’t arresting the college kids for drinking. Beer Vendors everywhere and if the $5 Green Bud Light tall boy is too much, go into any of the 21+ bars where they are selling cheap drinks all day. If the DT area gets a little too hectic for you, just walk 10 steps to the neighboring houses because every one of them is having a party. It is truly one of the best weekend to visit the city of Dreams, Columbia SC.” — Matt, South Carolina
Our Take: While it’s more of a city-wide party than just a college party…
… Ah, who are we kidding. The Gamecocks are definitely throwing down harder than anyone else in downtown Columbia.
4. Unofficial, Illinois
Your Take: “It has been said that more drinking occurs on Unofficial at U of I than during many other school’s entire year’s. People go to class and take quizzes wasted, campus police guard the large lecture halls, city police guard the residence halls, and best of all, the drinking goes on ALL DAY LONG. God bless America.” — Rob, Illinois
Our Take: Unofficial is commonly used to describe Illinois’ Friday party prior to St. Patrick’s Day (this year it took place on March 1). Bars open at 8 a.m. natch, kegs stay on front lawns all day long, and many, many Big Ten kids flood off buses and onto campus to help celebrate.
Adding to the charm of the festivities: Champaign’s notoriously killer bars.
3. Green Beer Day, Miami (of Ohio)
Your Take: “We start drinking at 2 a.m. and continue throughout the day and into the night. Thousands of students attend class absolutely hammered and with lips greener than a leprechaun’s dick.” — Garrett, Miami
“Craziest day of the year, starts at 3 a.m. and doesn’t end until 4 a.m. the next day. Absolutely dope parties that doesn’t stop all day.” — Jeremy, Miami
Our Take: Miami boasts bars that open the earliest of any on our list—5:00 a.m.—as well as one of the college party scene’s most admirably long-standing traditions. Green Beer Day began in 1952, and since the decline of modesty and temperance, it’s since become a huge, day-long party held the Thursday before Spring Break, boasting thousands of kids attending classes intoxicated, 18-20 straight hours of drinking, and countless house parties.
For this reason, Miami alums leave their school with a liver permanently died green.
2. St. Patrick’s Day, West Virginia
Your Take: “An unreal amount of house parties, huge frat parties, hot girls everywhere, #1 beer drinking school, #1 PARTY SCHOOL 2013…. Need I say more?” –John, West Virginia
Our Take: Did you watch that I’m Shmacked video?
I mean, John said it: What more can we say?
1. St. Patrick’s Day, University of Dayton
Your Take: “The University of Dayton might not sound much. We are a small school catholic school of around 8,000 undergrad. However on that magical day we all call St. Patrick’s our school triples in size and the student neighborhood we all call “the ghetto” floods with a sea of green. It is truly a sight to be seen.” — Wilson, Dayton
“Last year, the university was so terrified of what may potentially happen over St. Patty’s Day weekend, that the administration bough accidental death insurance for the weekend.” — Joseph, Dayton
“Classes or not, it is guaranteed that the music starts blaring at 4 a.m. with 40’s in hand prepping for Tim’s to open at 5. After everyone is nice and sauced up, Lowes St in THE GHETTO starts to fill with completely intoxicated patrons dressed in nothing but green. Thousands of your closest friends line the entire street to form the greatest party any school has ever seen. The sea of green, with beer and Jameson being passed around like its some sort of communal stash, parties to the beat of some drunkass bagpiper stumbling the streets in search of liquid gold for payment. UD cops have been seen shotgunning along side students, just for the hell of it.” — Branden, Dayton
“David Letterman said there are 4 places in the world to be for St. Paddy’s day… Dublin, Ireland, New York, NY, Chicago, IL and Dayton OH. The thing that makes UD so special for St. Paddy’s isn’t one specific party…. It’s the WHOLE university and most of Southern Ohio, that will migrate to UD’s student neighborhood aka “the ghetto.” A magical one big neighborhood and no parents are home. A school with roughly 8000 students living on campus will grow to 18,000 every St. Patricks day. All day the streets are filled with drinkers in green. Every house is open to anyone. Honestly, just follow the music and walk into a house and you’ll be thrown a fresh beer no questions asked. The administration sends out an email a couple weeks in advance to all students’ parents [pictured above] urging them to speak with their little Dayton Fliers about not going too hard that day.
“Limitless beer is handed out to complete strangers” — CJ, Dayton
Our Take: This party received far more submissions than any other on our list. I think we get it. It’s a party for college kids and their friends at a small, close-knit school where everyone more or less knows each other. And, most important of all, it isn’t exclusive. Dayton’s St. Patrick’s Day is a chance for everyone to get drunk with each other at 4 a.m. and on—the frat kids, the freshman, the campus police (if Branden’s testimony is to be believed). The small school’s party is comparable with any of the big state school’s, which is pretty amazing for a Catholic university of 8,000.
For those reasons, Dayton’s St. Patrick’s Day takes the No. 1 spot on our list. Enjoy the weekend, bros.
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