Did you know that there’s a 50% chance that your girlfriend won’t give a shit about how you propose and only cares that you actually went and proposed in the first place? Well now you do, so if you ever get lucky enough to find a girl who’s willing to touch your wiener on a regular basis without you having to throw her a fat $50, make sure not to accidentally burn down your college campus in an attempt to impress her into marrying you.
That’s solid advice that you can apply to pretty much anything in life, really. I can’t think of a single situation where burning down your college campus would be a good idea, but unfortunately Dim Xiong Chien, 22, decided that doing so would be a great way to make his girlfriend say “Yes!” to his marriage proposal, and by “decided” I mean “He’s a big fucking idiot and did it on accident.”
Dim Xiong Chien, 22, had taken three large boxes of fireworks onto campus where he planned to set them off as he got down on one knee and popped the question to girlfriend Cong Yen, 22.
But when she forgot to turn up he set them off anyway hoping she would see them and go and see what was happening.
Pal Shin Tan, 21, said: “He had prepared this big event in secret and had told her to meet him by the sports ground for a romantic walk.
“She had no idea he was planning to propose though, and clearly forgot all about the walk.”
As firemen rushed to the scene to put out the three-metre high flames on the grass, gutted Chien went looking for forgetful Yen.
I can perfectly imagine Chien wandering around in some sort of trance-like state searching for his girlfriend as a fire rages on directly behind him. And who sees fireworks and immediately runs towards them to see what’s going on? OBVIOUSLY someone is shooting off fireworks you idiot, there’s no mystery there. Did you think your girlfriend would sprint over to you because she thought there was a leprechaun with a pot of gold shooting off fireworks on campus? If that’s the case, then it looks like the two of you are almost dumb enough to be perfect together. Almost.
He said: “I was feeling a bit surprised that she hadn’t shown up, and was completely unaware that the fireworks had set the grass on fire.
“When I found her I said she had to come with me as there was something important I wanted to tell her and show her.
“But as we approached the sports hall we saw all these flames and firemen and I decided to postpone the proposal to another date.”
Realizing that proposing on the same day that you burned down half of your campus was probably the smartest move he made all year. It took firemen more than an hour to extinguish the fire at Liaoning Advertisement Vocation College, and Yen (girlfriend) stated that her parents won’t let her marry him because he’s clearly a moron. Sorry Chien, better luck next time.
[H/T Mirror, header image via Shutterstock]