Colleges Around The Country Ban Mistletoe, Secret Santa And The Colors Red And Green

For the most part, Christmas has evolved into this incredible non-religious time of the year when seemingly everybody is more kindhearted to one another, and there are joyous feelings of gratitude and hope. This beautiful season is topped off with celebrations of giving and cherishing loved ones. People of all religions including Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Buddhists and atheists, will prop up a grand Christmas tree in their home without any inkling of Christianity. Just a warm reminder of family, tradition and celebrating life. No actual wars were waged, and no lives were lost in the name of Christmas (Except for Black Friday, but that shouldn’t be associated with Christmas whatsoever). Despite all of the goodwill that the holiday season promotes, there are still colleges around the country that deem Christmas to be a possible nuisance that may “offend” oversensitive individuals.

A Cornell publication titled, “Fire Safety Guidelines for Holiday Decorations,” issues important guidelines for holiday decorations and bans fire hazards, such as candles and metallic Christmas trees. However, what is supposed to be a document on safety guidelines quickly morphs into a politically correct manifesto.

“University members are reminded to be respectful of the religious diversity of our students and colleagues and are encouraged to use an inclusive approach in celebrating the holiday season. Students are encouraged to be more diverse by either focusing on winter instead of a particular holiday or by including decorations for multiple holidays alongside secular decorations.”

The university deemed that these decorations “not consistent” with the school’s “commitment to diversity and inclusiveness.”

  • Nativity scenes
  • Menorahs
  • Angels
  • Mistletoe
  • Stars (when placed on top of trees)
  • Crosses
  • Stars of David

I completely understand why colleges would want to ban religious symbols such as nativity scenes, menorahs, angels, dreidels, mkekas, religious stars and crosses. Pushing religion on people on a non-religious campus can lead to problems. But mistletoe? It’s merely a plant with ZERO correlation to any current religion. And hanging it above to get a quick smooch is not related to any religion.

One of the early people who used the mistletoe were the Druids, who lived around the 3rd century BC and regarded the leafy plants as having mystical properties. The Druids were pre-Christianity priests of a pagan Celtic religion who lived in areas of Gaul, Britain and Ireland. They were considered to be wizards and soothsayers who often engaged in pagan sacrifice ceremonies including the Ritual of oak and mistletoe. On the sixth night of the new moon after the winter solstice, white-clad druids climbed a sacred oak tree, cut down the parasitic mistletoe growing on it with a golden sickle. A cloth was held below the tree by other members to catch the sprigs of mistletoe as they fell, as it was believed that it would have profaned the mistletoe to fall upon the ground. The cut branches would be distributed to the people, and they hung them over doorways as protection against thunder, lightning and other evils. They would also sacrificed two white bulls and used mistletoe to make an elixir to cure infertility of people and animals, as well as an antidote to all poisons. And here you are just being an asshole using a plastic version of this plant to get a cheap kiss from the chick you wanna bone from accounting. Shameless.

But Cornell isn’t the only place of higher learning that is handling the holiday season with kid gloves. The University of Tennessee–Knoxville released a set of guidelines for “Best Practices for Inclusive Holiday Celebrations in the Workplace.” The college, which is “fully committed to a diverse, welcoming, and inclusive environment,” wants to “ensure your holiday party is not a Christmas party in disguise.” FUCK! Hurry up hide the Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer napkins before we all get in big trouble!

The National Review reported that the document recommended including “food and decor from multiple religions” — which was actually a bit confusing, considering that the guidelines later stated that “refreshment selection should be general, not specific to any religion or culture.”

The rules also state that you can not call any gift exchange “Secret Santa.” You can however call it a “practical joke gift exchange” or “secret gift exchange.” Maybe it’s me, but “practical joke gift exchange” doesn’t roll off the tongue quite like “Secret Santa.” And while I’m not a religious zealot who is well-versed in Christianity, there is no parables about Santa Claus in the Bible, nope not even in the Old Testament. That’s like banning other imaginary things like SpongeBob Squarepants or Kanye West’s humility. They don’t exist, chill out.

Ohio State University also has Christmastime guidelines titled “Inclusive Holiday Practices.” The document states the following:

Individuals or departments may choose to focus celebrations on neutral, seasonal themes. Greenery, white lights, snowflakes, bows (preferably not red or green), and similar motifs convey an inclusive holiday spirit.

NEWSFLASH: Baby Jesus wasn’t draped in red or green bows. The Roman’s celebrated Saturnalia, which was Christmas before Christmas. It was a December pagan festival that honored the god Saturn and holly wreaths and evergreen branches were given as gifts and were seen as a sign of good (And you thought you got shitty Christmas gifts). The red color is actually a Christian symbolism for the blood of Jesus, but what, everything red has to be banned from now on because some people associate an entire color with something that happened over 2,000 years ago? So if some agnostic bow manufacturer wants to make red bows they can’t? “Sorry guys, Christians called red bows hundreds of years ago, so you’re shit out of luck. I think fuchsia is still available though.”

I hate to admit it, but it appears that PC Principal has won this round.