These 5 Colleges Allegedly Have The Highest STD Rates In The Country, So A Big CONGRATS To Them!

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Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports


STDs. They scary. Scary as shit when you’re sexually active and not the kind of guy who wants to use third party protection when you’re drunk. Young stupidity will do that to you, I guess. Plus, unprotected sex feels so goddamn good. That is, until the next morning comes and nothing about your decision feels good. Then all the fear sets in.

On numerous occasions (in college and after), it was a very real fear for me. It caused me to question everything…

“Was she really clean? She seemed clean, but she did have a clit ring… Her vagina also wasn’t that tight. And she wanted anal. Who the hell wants anal? Not to mention that whole thing about her fucking me on the first night. GAH I HAVE AIDS!!!”

And that was just the conversation I had with myself on the mornings after the nights when I did wear a condom. So you can imagine the hell I faced on the days after I partook in unprotected pleasure.

Assuming that people in college haven’t stopped fucking altogether, I can’t imagine dudes in college don’t wake up fearing the same things these days. If your fears are real, allow me to hopefully quell them (provided that your school isn’t on this list of the 5 colleges have the highest STD rates in the country.

According to a recent blog on STD Check, the 5 institutions of higher learning listed below are leading the pack when it comes to STDs.

5. Auburn University

4. University of Alabama

3. Florida State University

2. University of Iowa

1. Arizona State University

I would be remiss, dishonest, and a grade-A shitbag if I didn’t tell you that I think this ranking is garbage. I’m not ragging on it because I love these schools or have any allegiance whatsoever, but I think STD Check doesn’t fact check. Unless, of course, their idea of “fact-checking” consists of ripping off an entire list from another website that, conveniently enough, also failed to list any and all sources of how they determined these schools are, in fact, filled with sore-infested animals.

Now that I’ve said my piece, go forth, fuck and wear a condom, but only if you’re, like, in the mood.