‘Hazing Machine’ For Frats Being Sold On Craigslist Is Basically $200 Worth Of Broken Glass And Impending Lawsuits
I can think of 600+ other ways to haze a fraternity pledge that don’t involve spending $200 on a giant wooden board full of broken glass and stray nails, but then again that’s because I’m a sadistic fuck who likes to kick puppies and drink orange juice immediately after brushing my teeth. Some people aren’t creative. Some people can’t tell the difference between a flail and a halberd and if you’re one of those people then the “Drinko Board” is probably for you.
Are you in a frat? Are you and your boys always looking for new ways to haze the piss out of pledges? If you answered FUCK YEAH BRO to both questions, then you’ve come to the right place and I’m talking to the right bro.
As we all know, those darn pledges won’t haze themselves. You have to work hard 24/7/365 to make sure they’re properly welcomed to the brotherhood. And some times, all that dedication can catch up with you – your school work may suffer and you may not holla at tha biddies as much as you should.
But not anymore!
For just 200 American dollars you and your boys can become the proud owners of THE DRINKO BOARD
What is the Drinko Board?
Well, when a lifelong appreciation of the Price is Right and a passion for drinking games love each other very much, they decide to make a baby. A 4′ x 8′ baby with hundreds of perfectly placed nails, each with an accompanying beer bottle.
Jimmy Fallon and Paul Rudd are already in on the Drinko action, albeit with an inferior board. Regardless, don’t miss your chance join them.
Buy yours today while supplies last. Limit one per planet earth.
Transportation is your responsibility, all bottles must be taken with you and ping pong balls are included – red cups are not included but I know y’all got that covered.
WARNING: The backside has nails poking through it, which is both awesome and dangerous.
Do I advise buying this? Yes obviously. The potential injuries you could cause yourself are endless which in my book translates to “fun fun fun for everyone!” But do I advise you to buy this as a tool to haze your pledges with? No, not at all. Don’t do that. That’s a lawsuit for both you AND me waiting to happen, so mark my words:
DON’T HAZE YOUR PLEDGES WITH THIS.
But what you do with your spare time is really none of my business.