Junior At Penn State Claims She’s A ‘Squirrel Whisperer,’ Actually Is The Ultimate Way To Get Chicks
If you went through four years of college and never tried to kick one of the 600 million squirrels that populate whatever campus you were on, did you really go to college? After the second or third time you of course realized that the squirrels all have PhD’s in “avoiding idiot college freshmen who try to kick us” and stopped trying, but the urge never left until you graduated.
That’s how it went for 99.9999% of us. That other .0001%? The portion that wanted to befriend and play dress-up with squirrels instead of punt them across campus? Her name’s Mary Krupa and she’s a junior at Penn State.
Happy Valley is home to thousands of students and it’s also home to thousands of bushy-tailed squirrels. No one seems to know them better than Penn State junior Mary Krupa.
“My parents were worried you might bullied for making friends with the squirrels. That isn’t something a normal person does but people seem to really love originality and creativity,” Krupa said.
Krupa has earned the nickname the “squirrel whisperer” and it’s more than just a campus title. Krupa and a female squirrel named Sneezy have become an Internet sensation. Sneezy’s Facebook page even has earned more “likes” than Penn State’s mascot the Nittany Lion.
One German magazine even wrote that Sneezy was the Penn State mascot. “They got a little confused. They think Sneezy is the school’s mascot,” Krupa said.
What makes Sneezy so special is that she allows Krupa to dress her up. Photos can be seen on Facebook of teeny-tiny hats made out of paper resting on Sneezy’s heard. Or shades made from cardboard while Sneezy’s bitty paws grip onto doll-sized props.
So what’s Krupa’s photo session secret? “As long as she has food she is completely relaxed and really comfortable with people. She is just the sweetest, laid back squirrel ever,” Krupa said.
Krupa reminds people, Sneezy is still a wild animal. When Sneezy’s done playing dress-up, the animal has a mind of its own and scampers off around Penn State’s campus.
Uh…okay. Because when I think “college,” I don’t think “4 years of binge drinking,” I think “playing with squirrels.” Then again if you’re a dude, becoming a squirrel-whisperer might just be the ultimate way to get chicks since Sneezy’s Facebook page is full of girls losing their shit over how “cute” the squirrel is:
…except for this one psychotic girl who’s all about lighting animals on fire.
Maybe steer clear of her.