The 91st Academy Awards are this weekend, I think. I’ll be perfectly honest and admit I haven’t seen any of this year’s nominees nor do I give a shit about who wins. I’m sure I’ll breeze by the channel at some point on Sunday night and stop to see if anything interesting is happening but I really can’t bring myself to care about an award show that snubbed the entire Sharknado series.
I am, however, interested in the Oscars gift bags. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences wants everyone to know that these gift bags have NOTHING to do with The Oscars. They’re curated and given out by a boutique marketing company in Los Angeles named Distinctive Assets and their often valued at over $100,000 in gifts. I’ve got the full list of products included in this year’s bag below, by the way, so keep scrolling.
It’s estimated that companies will spend $5K-20K to have their products included in these gift bags in hopes of celebrities falling in love and sharing these products with the world. Past gifts have included luxury vacations valued at tens of thousands of dollars. There was a controversial one a few years ago, a $55,000 vacation to Israel, that managed to piss off a ton of activists.
This year’s gift bag is going to be full of Cannabis products. From CBD to THC, the gift bag will be chock full of goodies to help these celebrities alleviate stress. Who works harder than celebrities, right? They need these ultra-luxe weed chocolates to help them unwind after long days of traveling on private jets and eating meals prepared by private chefs. Look at these weed chocolates and tell me they’re normal…
This year’s bag will include the following (and more):
— Coda Signature premium cannabis-infused edibles, topicals and concentrates
— An annual VIP membership to MOTA ― LA’s first cannabis-friendly social club
— Age Interventionist Renee Lynn’s CBDRxSupreme protocol (more CBD stuff)
— High Beauty High Five Cannabis Facial Moisturizer and High Expectations Cannabis Facial Oil Instytutum skincare products
— A choice of vacation to Iceland, Costa Rica and Panama, the Galapagos, or the Amazon
— A private ‘phobia relief’ therapy session from the world’s top phobia expert, Kalliope Barlis
— A week-long trip to the Greek Isles
— Week-long wellness retreat in Southern California
— A private organic dinner in Los Cabos, Mexico
— Yeti cooler filled with Jarritos Mexican soda
— Premier handcrafted A. Junod Absinthe
This is just a FRACTION of what’s included in these gift bags. You can check out the full list HERE on the Independent. Other gifts include non-weed chocolates, dog leashes, a WSJ subscription, candles, spa lotions, snacks, luxury goods, and a lot more.
I’m just going to throw this out there: if anyone wants to offer me a free trip to the Amazon or Iceland I’ll gladly oblige. I’ve been to Iceland and I fell in love with that country but I’ve never been to the Amazon. I studied abroad for a few months in Panama and have spent about 6 weeks in Costa Rica, so I’m good there for now. But I’ll happily go back to Iceland or visit the Galapagos and the Amazon for my first time. I just need to get my hands on one of these gift bags.