Aziz Ansari Goes On Hilarious Rant About Award Shows While Accepting Award At Award Show

If you’re wondering why Hollywood has an ego problem, look no further than the Award Show A Week schedule it operates on. God damnit, imagine how cocksure we’d be if every Friday we were required to dress up in tuxedos to accept our award for ‘Best Excel Spreadsheet’ or ‘Most Scintillating Water Cooler Conversation.’ We’d walk around with our balls dragging on the floor. ‘Hey Bill, congrats on your third Michael Scott Award for Most Violent Mid-Morning Dump. The competition was stiff this year. You earned it.’ These jerkoffs are handed an award every six minutes and I’ve been holding out for a Christmas bonus for three years. Not bitter about it though..

Aziz Ansari was honored Monday night as the recipient of BAFTA LA’s Charlie Chaplin Britannia Award for Excellence in Comedy and instead of droning on about the o-zone or sending iPhone chargers to the Congo, Aziz provided us with a refreshing rant on how trivial all the pageantry is. Granted, he still showed up and wore his best suit, but progress is progress.


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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.