Beer Might Save You From Alcohol Poisoning. Seriously.
Drinking in excess is the American way. No truer statement has been made, just ask anyone down at your friendly neighborhood redneck bar and grill and they’ll tell you that getting soused up and rowdy is just called a Thursday night in these parts. But, if we’re being completely honest, the act of consuming copious amounts of booze to the point of becoming a drunken imbecile who slurs his speech, picks fights with strangers and maybe even pisses his pants by the time it is all said and done is a massive component of a variety of cultures from all over the world.
Booze is without a doubt the global inebriant of choice, turning millions of people into full-blown alcoholics every year. And while some of these poor slobs will live to suffer the intoxicating blows of a lifelong battle with the bottle – you know, divorce, homelessness, cirrhosis and all of that other fun stuff —- others, at least the more enthusiastic of the breed, will find themselves face down in a puddle of puke, snuffed out in an instant due to an unsavory party peril known as alcohol poisoning.
Alcohol poisoning is responsible for killing more than 2,000 Americans every year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. This means as many as six die hardcore drinkers are pushing the sauce beyond their physical limits each day, a trend that is only getting worse as time progresses.
Some of the latest research shows that alcohol abuse has increased substantially over the past two decades. There are now more than 30 million people on any given week relying on intensive cocktail therapy to provide them with the numb to motor through this thing called life without losing their shit.
Unfortunately, this increase in booze consumption is putting more people at risk of having the grim reaper gnaw at their booze-soaked souls long before it is time. And let’s face it, fellas, getting shit-faced is really only fun when it simply leads to a fucked up night, with a crazy story that doesn’t end with “and he died.” There is nothing romantic or dignified about fading away in our youth.
But what if we were to tell you that Vietnamese medical professionals have determined that beer can actually prevent alcohol poisoning? You’d probably ask us to go back to bed and starting writing again after we’ve sobered up. You might even accuse of spreading fake news and chastise us for our lack of journalistic integrity. Well, the joke’s on you hotrod, we never had any of that, to begin with. Still, we are giving it to you straight here – our favorite sudsy beverage has been used to keep at least one rabid boozehound from being put down before his time.
A report from Tuio Tre News claims that doctors at the Quang Tri General Hospital in north-central Vietnam saved a man’s life over the holidays after he nearly killed himself through the consumption of a “massive amount of alcohol.”
Forty-eight-year-old Nguyen Van Nhat was rushed to the emergency room after falling unconscious during one hell of raging Christmas party. A blood test revealed that the amount of methanol coursing through his veins was well over 1,000 times the legal limit. If emergency staff didn’t do something fast, the man would have died from alcohol poisoning for sure.
To prevent this from happening, doctors immediately fed Nhat three cans of beer. This was done, the report indicates, to hinder the liver’s ability to process the methanol and ward off the life-threatening effects. From there, the patient was prescribed 15 beers ( 1 per hour) as part of his treatment. That’s right – Nhat was given permission to consume 15 beers during his stay in the hospital to sort of dumb down his liver until the methanol was out of his system. We are happy to report that the beer saved this man’s life.
Now, if you’re asking why in the hell this man was drinking booze made with methanol — a substance that is used in the United States to manufacture industrial products — the truth is he probably wasn’t aware of it. Methanol smells similar to ethanol, which is found in alcoholic beverages, but it is often used in foreign booze – it is prevalent in Vietnam — because it is less expensive.
Yet, this dirty liquor is extremely dangerous, even when consumed in small doses. In fact, it takes about two ounces of methanol to kill someone dead. Recently, a student from the University of North Carolina Wilmington died as a result of methanol poisoning while he was studying abroad throughout east Asia. The use of methanol is considered an “epidemic,” in some parts of the world. It’s a dire enough situation that some schools in the United States have started warning students about the dangers of impure booze before they get involved with international travel.
However, beer is a life-saving treatment for people poisoned by this substance.
Dr. Le Van Lam, head of the Quang Tri General Hospital’s intensive care unit, told the news source that methanol turns into formaldehyde (embalming fluid) when it is broken down by the liver. But when ethanol (found in beer) is administered, it supersedes the methanol and prevents the body from being poisoned so quickly. Essentially, the beer keeps the liver from recognizing the methanol, which gives medical professionals more time to eliminate the trouble- causing toxins. All of the left over methanol is dispelled from the body safety through urination.
On the plus side, Dr. Lam says ethanol doesn’t cause severe poisoning when processed by the liver. So maybe sticking to regulated alcoholic beverages is the best way to proceed here. We’re just saying.
It is important to point out that while this Vietnamese beer treatment could save some lives, it is not going to do anything to prevent the massive hangover that is sure to come from this level of stunt drinking. If you live through it, you may even wish you were dead.
Furthermore, do not allow this article to be your guide to surviving alcohol poisoning. We’re simply reporting on what one medical professional did to help some drunk bastard live to drink another day. It is always best to seek immediate medical attention if you suspect that a member of your crew has pushed the party to dangerous heights. If their breathing gets weird or they become unresponsive, call 911 and get him or her to a hospital right away. If a doctor decides to start feeding them beers, so be it! Just don’t discount them as being really drunk and let them go untreated.
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