British Accent Voted 'World's Sexiest' By 37,000 People Who I Assume Have Ears That Don't Work

Listen, I love the Brits. I joke with my better half all the time that we should buy a place in London. She thinks that London’s too similar to New York and not exotic enough but I fell hard for London. And the Brits are the best. I’ve never been greeted with anything other than overwhelming hospitality by Britons. Also, Tottenham Hotspur is the greatest team there ever was (#FactsOnly), and that’s just one more reason to love the Brits.

British people are lots of things but one thing they are not is sexy. There are roughly 66.65 million British folks which means there are a few sexy ones here or there but we know who they are. They’re famous AF because there’s only like 11 of them in total. Somehow, TimeOut ran a survey of 37,000 people and those tends of thousands of people claimed that the British accent is the sexiest accent on the planet.

This is wrong. There are countless accents that qualify as ‘sexy’ before the British accent. Australian would rank #1, everyone knows this. Then I’d toss in Belgian, French, Italian, Irish, and Chilean LONG before we made it to the British accent.

Here’s what TimeOut, a global publication, found in their annual survey which included 37,000 people this year:

In a result that’ll strike some (not least, most Brits) as unexpected, British accents took a whacking 25 percent of the overall vote.
The British accent was voted the absolute hottest on earth, coming top in countries as far-flung as Sweden, China, India and the USA.

A British brogue was particularly desirable in Asia, with South Korea and Malaysia also finding UK accents too hot to handle. Japan specifically went weak at the knees for an English accent, while Irish respondents were most likely to dig a Scottish accent. (The UK itself, meanwhile, named Irish accents the sexiest.)

Although French accents are often stereotyped as the world’s sexiest, they came second globally, with 16 percent of the worldwide vote. Countries that named French accents the most alluring included Australia, Brazil, Russia and Turkey, as well as France’s neighbours Germany, Italy and the Netherlands.

Italian accents were named the third sexiest with 15 percent of the votes worldwide, triumphing in Spain, France and Portugal. Spanish and Irish accents rounded out the top five, followed by Australian and American. (via TimeOut)

I think 37,000 people either have broken ears or they’re confusing ‘cute’ with ‘sexy’. The British accent is cute. You take a cute British accent home to meet the parents and your mother pulls you aside to tell you she ‘likes this one’. But it’s not sexy. The British accent is turning heads as it walks down the street. Nobody’s gobsmacked by the sexiness of a British accent. It just doesn’t happen.

All things considered, the results could be worse. There have been studies that showed the Boston accent as the second sexiest in America which is absolute poppycock. The Texas accent was most recently named the sexiest in America which I don’t fully understand after having lived in Texas for a year. It’s fine. Sure. It’s an accent. Sexy? Far from it.

Here’s a clip from a few years ago including a bunch of different British accents to determine *which one* is the sexiest.