The Comerica Park Employee Who Spit In A Customer’s Pizza Is Being Charged With A Four-Year Felony


Yesterday, we brought you the disturbing news of a Comerica Park food services employee hawking a loogie on a pizza before spreading the tomato sauce. Representatives for the home of the Detroit Tigers said the incident took place on Friday during a Tigers home game against the Kansas City Royals.

Quinelle May, the person who posted the video on Instagram (which now appears to have been deleted), said the employee was “mad and having a bad day” and also claimed this wasn’t his first offense. Detroit Sportservice, the company that provides food and beverage concessions at Comerica Park, released a statement claiming that the food stand was closed and “all the product” was thrown away once the company learned of the incident.

Welp, the offender has been outed and is being slapped with the big dick of the Law.

According to Fox 2 Detroit, 20-year-old Jaylon Kerley is facing one count of Food Law Violations, a four-year felony, and one count of Food Law Violations, a 90-day misdemeanor. Kerley was promptly fired before being arrested on September 23.

FOUR YEAR FELONY for a food law violation? Don’t get me wrong, it was one of the more repulsive things I’ve seen recently, but years in the clink seems a little excessive.

I propose that Jaylon’s sentence should be as follows: He goes to prison, not to serve time, but so that every inmate in the prison can spit in the prison meatloaf. A court-ordered live broadcast would then stream Jaylon eating all the meatloaf. If this sentence is imposed, tell me with a straight face that this dude will EVER think of doing anything like this again. THAT’S rehabilitation, baby.

Jaylon is expected to be arraigned on the charges sometime later Tuesday morning.

[h/t Fox 2 Detroit]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.