I really didn’t want to click on this story when I stumbled upon it because I treat my takeout food like I treat the odd numbers popping up on my girlfriend’s phone: ignorance is bliss. Can’t entertain the possibility of some asshole sprinkling pubes on the bun of my burger just as I can’t consider the possibility of my girlfriend’s trainer, Brett, laying the pipe after a set of deep squats.
But, I am a man who cannot help but inflict pain on himself and now I will be forced to cook for the rest of my life.
A video is going viral that features a 20-year-old Comerica Park food services employee hawking a loogie on a pizza before spreading the tomato sauce and presumably putting it in the oven.
That’s a massive fucking loogie, too.
According to WXYZ, the incident happened on Friday at the home of the Detroit Tigers and the employee is in police custody and could face charges. Quinelle May, the person who posted the video, said the employee was “mad and having a bad day” and also claimed this wasn’t his first offense.
Detroit Sportservice released a statement after media caught wind of the incident.
“As soon as we became aware through social media of potential food tampering Friday night, we immediately closed that food stand and disposed of all the product. Food safety is our top priority and we will take any appropriate action necessary to protect our guests.”
I apologize for bringing this to your attention.