Costco Announces Temporary Pay Raise For Employees For Having To Deal With Us Barbarians

As Tom Hanks Disease crushes industries daily and companies like NASCAR and Hyatt furlough employees and slash salaries across the board, Costco is experiencing a golden era.

Costco bulk products are in such high demand that half-mile lines have formed around the buildings 90 minutes before the store even opens. The tension has birthed in-line fist fights and prompted people to call 911.

On top of dealing with the unsettling possibility of contracting the sickness, Costco employees are forced with facing the Joker’s reality in the flesh: When the chips are down, these “civilized” people, they’ll eat each other.

For that, employees are being compensated.

The chain’s CEO sent out a memo to all of its employees, which reads in part:

“In recognition of your hard work during this unprecedented time, all full-time, part-time and limited part-time hourly Costco employees in the U.S. and Puerto Rico will receive an additional $2 per hour for hours worked during the five weeks of March 2 through April 5, 2020.”

“The additional compensation will be paid in a lump sum in your April 17 paycheck.”

[via TMZ]

Two extra bucks an hour extrapolates to $400 extra if an employee works five days per week, 8 hours a day during the entirety of this period.

https://twitter.com/kayagbayani/status/1242201544768008192?s=20

After re-visiting this footage, two extra dollars and hour seems more-and-more insulting.

https://twitter.com/DaveLA_Sports/status/1242270633959944193?s=20

https://twitter.com/TobinBen/status/1238828192581988357?s=20

These employees should come out on the other end of this millionaires. No two ways about it.