Taylor Shook / USA TODAY NETWORK
It’s not secret that Crumbl Cookies are not exactly marketed or billed as health food. There are plenty of articles detailing the insane caloric and sugar content in just one of the Utah-based chain’s famed cookies.
But with their new menu item, Dirty Soda, Crumbl may well have just outdone itself. The backlash to the sodas has been immense, with some comparing the sodas to Panera Bread’s infamous “death lemonade,” which has since been discontinued.
Even hearing that, the actual macronutrient numbers behind the new dirty sodas are absolutely staggering.
What Actually Is Dirty Soda?
To be clear here, Crumbl Cookies is not responsible for the invention of the Dirty Soda. The wildly sugary drinks have been around for years and are extremely popular in Utah.
Because members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints are barred from drinking alcoholic beverages, drinks with immensely high sugar content have become extremely popular.
Dirty sodas are typically a combination of soda, coffee creamer, and flavored syrups, giving drinkers an immediate burst of sweetness as well as a preposterous amount of energy from sugar.
But what about Crumbl’s dirty sodas specifically?
“Enjoy Crumbl Dirty Soda experience—craft beverages made to refresh and delight,” the company says on its website.
It then offers customers the option of over 40 different combinations of sodas, “chargers,” and “coolers.” All of that adds to a potentially staggering amount of sugar.
Crumbl needs to be stopped.
Their new “dirty soda” contains 186 grams of sugar, the equivalent of eating 19 Krispy Kreme donuts. This is a metabolic disaster and should be illegal.
Please do not drink this. pic.twitter.com/OlGE7NNkq2
— Mark Hyman, M.D. (@drmarkhyman) June 8, 2026
Of course, these numbers vary based on size and mixture. But the drinks can range anywhere from 520 to 840 calories, and from 121 to 186 grams of sugar.
For comparison sake, 186 grams of sugar is the equivalent of eating 19 Krispy Kreme donuts, drinking five cans of Coke, eating two full pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, or having 40 Oreos, according to noted physician Mark Hyman.
Listen, if you want to indulge in the occasional Dirty Soda, I will not blame you. Especially as someone with a sweet tooth. They can even be particularly useful for participants in endurance sports who need quick bursts of energy.
But even still, that is a preposterous amount of sugar to consume in one drink.