Email from schools on Monday: “Here’s the plan for the school year.”
Email from school on Tuesday: “JK. Here’s the real plan for the school year.”
Email from school on Wednesday: “Got ya! No seriously, this is what we’re doing for the entire year.”
Email from school on Thursday: “The school mascot has Covid-19. Please stand by.”
Email from school on Friday: “We’re just emailing to let you know we’re never taking your kids back. Here are four highlighters and some printouts about Abe Lincoln. Good luck this school year.”
Here are 25 funny tweets and memes from dads this week.
The secret to a successful marriage is to call your wife seven times a day, to help her find her phone
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 13, 2020
My daughter just asked me what time noon was and I told her 4:30 because I want to see what happens
— Crockett🍀 (@CrockettForReal) August 13, 2020
After five minutes of crying and whining because she didn't want to wear the outfit I dressed her in, my 2 year old caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror as she stormed by, stopped mid-scream, and casually said, "Oh, I DO like this. Cute!"
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 12, 2020
DOCTOR: Have you been exercising for 30 minutes a day?
ME: Yes. I do The Robot to annoy my kids.
DOCTOR: That’s not…
ME: TECHNOBOT CAN’T HEAR YOU OVER HIS SICK MOVES, DOC!
— Bison (@FunnyBison) August 7, 2020
My daughter loves the way I mixed the pretzel, cheese and princess goldfish together and she called it “delicious” so I guess I can add chef to my resume.
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) August 8, 2020
Me: How was your first day of school?
4-year-old: I didn't hurt anyone.
Better than expected.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 14, 2020
Love the people who tear their mask off the second they step out of the store like their surfacing from under water.
— Dad Bits (@DadBits) August 12, 2020
The best sound for any parent in the morning is silence. Until suddenly there’s too much silence and you become suspicious.
— DaddyJew (@DaddyJew) August 14, 2020
My sister in law, who has a four year old, asked us this week when do kids stop asking questions and my wife and I have been laughing about that this whole week.
— Shannon Carpenter (@HossmanAtHome) August 7, 2020
The happy back-to-school photos are starting in my area. Perfect timing because I needed to feel even more insane right now.
— Andrew Knott (@aknott21) August 13, 2020
What is the capital of the United States: Flavortown
-My kids taking a test after watching a bajillion hours of tv during quarantine.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) August 13, 2020