Twitter / @sladewentworth
I read an article yesterday about a couple married 25 years who don’t live together.
She has a house. He has a house.
That sounds like the perfect relationship.
I don’t think being with a person 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is healthy for a relationship.
The only positive about living with a person is splitting the bills and the chores.
The negatives are numerous.
Living apart from a person doesn’t mean “I don’t love you enough to live with you” it means “I love you so much I don’t eventually want to hate you.”
Everything in moderation. Even relationships.
Here are 25 funny tweets and memes from dads who’ll probably agree.
Wife: Your son said "f-cking" today.
Me:
Wife: Yep, said it clear as day.
Me: At least his f's are improving.
— dADDisms (@Beagz) August 4, 2020
https://twitter.com/CrockettForReal/status/1291139726594863104
10% of marriage is texting each other “Where are you?” from inside the same store.
— The Dad Briefs (@SladeWentworth) July 31, 2020
Me: Pack for Grandma's house.
10-year-old: But she already has everything.
Me: Everything?
10: Except rules.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 5, 2020
The only people who don’t hate clowns are clowns
— Chris Illuminati (@chrisilluminati) August 5, 2020
My four year old loves eating sugar. I don't mean candy or sweets–I just walked in the kitchen and found him wrist-deep in the sugar jar, his face and shirt dusted white, like some Nickelodeon version of Tony Montana getting high on his own supply.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) August 6, 2020
https://www.instagram.com/p/CDeyZ8mJS5d/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CDYFgRyBaPs/
https://www.instagram.com/p/CDjipMkFmQM/
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