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Did you know that Jennifer Lawrence is getting married? Because she is, to some guy none of us have ever heard of before, an art dealer named Cooke Maroney.
The happy couple haven’t officially announced a wedding date yet, but we know it must be coming up soon because Lawrence released a wedding registry list this week on Amazon.
Seriously. Jennifer Lawrence, net worth $130 MILLION, put out a wedding registry on Amazon.
At least that’s what Amazon wants everyone to think. Me? I’m not so sure. Check out how the list of her “essential registry picks” begins.
“Planning a wedding is so exciting, but it can be overwhelming. For anyone else needing a little inspiration, I thought it would be fun to collaborate with Amazon to share a few of my favorite registry wish-list items.”
Anyone else find it hard to believe that Lawrence actually said that?
Amazon's first test of AI technology is allowing it to write these Jennifer Lawrence wedding registry "intros" pic.twitter.com/u31ZBkQBUg
— Anne Helen Petersen (@annehelen) September 24, 2019
“Hmm it would be fun to collaborate with Amazon” said no one
— rebecca 🗽🌸 (@MoxietheMaven) September 24, 2019
“I love to host people at home,” it continues. “Whether it’s a few friends for drinks or a larger dinner party, here are a few favorite party essentials that will make sure your guests have everything they need.”
No way. Not buying it. Even Tom Brady thinks this is bullshit… probably.
“I travel a lot for work, and these are a few of the best items I’ve found over the years to help me arrive feeling refresehed and ready to explore,” it goes on. “Don’t leave for your honeymoon without them!”
Right. She shouted that last part. Sigh…
“I love trying new recipes, so it’s important to have the right tools in the kitchen. Here are a few items I love, and a few that I can’t wait to start using. Cooking for two is always more fun!” she shouted, again.
“With my schedule, sometimes there is nothing better than a quiet night at home. Here are a few things that will help make any home feel cozy and organized, just the way I like it.”
What, no shouting this time?
Turns out Jennifer Lawrence is really in need of a WiFi extender, rolling pin, cheese slicer, some AirPods, a Go Pro Hero 7, some cotton napkins, a Kindle Paperwhite, pasta maker, some string lights, a wooden salad bowl, and a Yeti cooler. Who knew?!
Naturally, this blatant money grab by Lawrence did not go unnoticed by folks on social media.
how much is Amazon paying already-very-wealthy Jennifer Lawrence to do that..., so so so greedy💰
— MoraM (@MoraMason20) September 25, 2019
there is absolutely no way she wants a copper fondue set
— corey kindberg (@coreykindberg) September 24, 2019
I mean, she’s literally obsessed and in love with Kris Jenner and hangs around her non-ironically. Is it so unthinkable that some of their bizarre business principles would rub off on her?
— resistance is essential. (@pointlesswords) September 24, 2019
Does she know she’s Jennifer Lawrence and she really didn’t need to do this?
— blue m&m (@MissCWilshire) September 24, 2019