This Jeopardy Contestant’s 76ers Answer Was So Wrong, Joel Embiid Retired His Old Nickname


File this under: Jeopardy Contestants Don’t No Squat About Sports Volume 2,971 sponsored by Rec-Specs.

This is just a huge loss for the nerds, who for centuries have tried to fight the stigma that knowledge and a pair of thick lenses are the antidote to athletic and sexual prowess.

Trebek knows that contestants on his show know as much about sports as Philip Rivers knows about applying a condom. Thats why the $1,000 sports category clue is always something my mother can answer, and she thinks the Flint Michigan Tropics are a real pro team.

Paul’s out here buzzing reallll quick for a guy who thinks James Naismith is a poet.


Paul: What is ‘Turn This Gosh Darn Ship Around’? 

Mike: ‘What is Hoosiers?’

Margaret: “What is ‘Winning The Sports Ball Match Please Give Me Partial Credit Alex I Need This'”


Don’t hang your head, Paul. Mr. Embiid is already embracing his new moniker.

Maybe this is the shakeup the Sixers desperately need. That or locker room leadership and a third quarter oxygen mask for Embiid.



Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.