Kendall Jenner’s Filthy Response To Video Mocking Her For Being ‘Passed Around By NBA Players’ Has Earned My Respect

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Ben Simmons? More like HAS-Ben Simmons! I don’t love myself. Never have.

I know you folks at home are already keeping up with the Kardashians, but as we’ve learned, the ladies change athlete boyfriends in the time it takes to pour yourself another glass of Noir and talk shit about the one friend who couldn’t make it to the watch party.

Kendall—who has dated Ben Simmons, Blake Griffin, Kyle Kuzma, and Jordan Clarkson—was recently spotted at an Arizona rest stop with Suns star Devin Booker, officially completing a starting five that would win 50 games.

The new development prompted someone on TikTok to share a video that brought me great joy.

Credit where credit’s due. Kendall’s cooch came with a People’s Elbow from the top rope.

Good on you, Kendall. But I’d advise you pick up a center if you really want to go deep into the playoffs. May I suggest Tacko Fall?

P.S. We were also gifted with a TMZ headline that you can almost taste.

TMZ


Jesus, TMZ. Put your hog away. We live in a society.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.