ATTN Serial Killers: A Kentucky Derby Winner’s Poop Is Being Sold Online For $200 A Nugget

Andy Lyons /Allsport


People look at me like I’m the asshole when I say that only like 40 percent of Americans are worthy of voting (relax, I’m not one of them either), and then a story like this comes along and really restores your faithlessness in people.

You, yes you, can get your hands on a piece of Kentucky Derby history quite literally straight from the belly of the beast.

I’m talking about poop.

Sorry, *shit.

Lexington-based Kentucky for Kentucky is selling preserved horse turds from 1997 Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Silver Charm for the reasonable price of $200 a nugget.

Customers will receive a 16-ounce mason jar with a Silver Charm horse dropping that preserved and suspended in clear epoxy resin, a preserving liquid.

Via the website:

Own a piece of Derby History! Introducing Derby Turds, the first in a Dixieland Preserves line of bizarro Southern resin encapsulations by Kentucky artist Coleman Larkin.

Equal parts art and novelty, these gorgeous nuggets of digested Kentucky bluegrass and whatever else horses eat were daringly harvested by the artist himself, fresh from the haunches of legendary 1997 Kentucky Derby winner Silver Charm at Old Friends Farm in Georgetown, KY.

One hundred jars of the horse manure were assembled, meaning that if all of them fly off the shelves, the poop seller will haul in $20,000. Why did I go to college again? Coulda been slanging shit straight outta high school.

[Kentucky For Kentucky]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.