Lawyer Holds A Cameraman At Knifepoint, Demanding That He Delete Footage Of Him Protesting The Lockdown

by 3 months ago

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You know what they say: don’t do the protest if you can’t do the, uhm… local news feature?

KTTV– The FOX 11 photographer and reporter were covering the end of a demonstration in Huntington Beach when 36-year old Christien Petersen approached them and demanded they delete any video he might be in.

Petersen was seen holding a pocket knife and forced the photographer to go to his live truck to delete the video. Petersen was still holding the photographer at knifepoint inside the news van when police arrived.

We’ve all been in photos we didn’t want to be in. Sometimes you’re at an intramural quidditch match supporting the starting keeper, aka your tutor, who got called up because the other keeper got beaned with a quaffle last week against Dunster and her nose exploded. Why are you supporting your tutor? Because in addition to “editing” your problem sets, she blows you without any expectation—nay, desire—for reciprocity. You’re trying to toe that line between blending in and being supportive when the flash of an iPhone catches you unawares. To your left, a group of pathetic sociology majors just took a group photo, all of them wearing Gryffindor scarves they bought at Party City, and you’re in the periphery. That shit is going straight to Instagram, and your reputation is toast. What do you do?

A) Hope that nobody of status follows any of them.

B) Offer to take another photo of them, joking that you’re an expert at this, then secretly delete the photo you’re in while they set up for the new one.

C) Pull out your trusty box cutter that you keep with you at all times in case you run into some packages and threaten to slice them like albacore belly unless they delete it.

If you’re running the Christien Petersen offense, you go with C. Luckily, he’s a lawyer so he can represent himself in what will surely be a lengthy series of court appearances, anger management counseling, and court-mandated community service.