iStockphoto / vyasphoto
I haven’t made a habit of hanging out in graveyards throughout my life. It’s just not something that was ever in the cards for me.
When I was scrolling through Twitter yesterday afternoon I came across this tweet that started with ‘My dad died’ and my first thought was ‘that’s a dark way to start a Twitter thread’ and kept scrolling. Then I saw this tweet again with someone sharing it as like ‘holy shit, this thread!’ My interest was piqued but I kept scrolling. Then I saw it a THIRD time and realized that there was a genuine Twitter phenomenon taking place.
So I click through to the thread and this user, @sixthformpoet, says straight up in the first tweet that the thread gets A LOT FUNNIER. And I guess it does depending upon your sense of humor. This is pretty dark but holy shit is it a roller coaster of emotion.
There’s definitely humor to be found, and this story has a completely unexpected ending. This isn’t as long of a thread as some of those crazy stories you see on Twitter, only 10 tweets. Get ready:
ONE
My dad died. Classic start to a funny story. He was buried in a small village in Sussex. I was really close to my dad so I visited his grave a lot. I still do. [DON’T WORRY, IT GETS FUNNIER.]
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
I always took flowers and my mum visited a lot and she always took flowers and my grandparents were still alive then and they always took flowers. My dad’s grave frequently resembled a solid third place at the Chelsea Flower Show.
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
Nice but I felt bad for the guy buried next to my dad. He NEVER had flowers. Died on Christmas Day aged 37, no one left him flowers and now there’s a pop-up florist in the grave next door. So I started buying him flowers. I STARTED BUYING FLOWERS FOR A DECEASED MAN I’D NEVER MET.
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
I did this for quite some time, but I never mentioned it to anyone. It was a little private joke with myself, I was making the world a better place one bunch of flowers at a time. I know it sounds weird but I came to think of him as a friend.
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
I wondered if there was a hidden connection between us, something secretly drawing me to him. Maybe we went to the same school, played for the same football club or whatever. So I googled his name, and ten seconds later I found him.
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
His wife didn’t leave him flowers BECAUSE HE’D MURDERED HER. ON CHRISTMAS DAY. After he murdered his wife, he murdered her parents too. And after that he jumped in front of the only train going through Balcombe tunnel that Christmas night.
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
THAT was why no one ever left him flowers. No one except me, of course. I left him flowers. I left him flowers every couple of weeks. Every couple of weeks FOR TWO AND A HALF YEARS.
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
I felt terrible for his wife and her parents. Now, I wasn’t going to leave them flowers every couple of weeks for two and a half years but I did feel like I owed them some sort of apology.
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
I found out where they were buried, bought flowers and drove to the cemetery. As I was standing at their graves mumbling apologies, a woman appeared behind me. She wanted to know who I was and why I was leaving flowers for her aunt and grandparents. AWKWARD.
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
I explained and she said ok that’s weird but quite sweet. I said thanks, yes it is a bit weird and oh god I ASKED HER OUT FOR A DRINK. Incredibly, she said yes. Two years later she said yes again when I asked her to marry me because that is how I met my wife.
[END]
— sixthformpoet (@sixthformpoet) June 9, 2019
I mean, come on, nobody saw that ending coming. I did suspect that there was something very dark and ominous about the grave that gets ignored but I definitely did not see this story culminating with the dude meeting his wife because he was laying flowers on a murderer’s gravestone.
Is this story real? I choose to believe so but you never know because it’s Twitter and people can always make shit up. The story seems legit though, and 99% of people on Twitter are choosing to believe it. Now, I wouldn’t be shocked if this gets turned into a movie in the near future. It has all of the makings of an awkward romantic comedy.