Drew Angerer/Getty Images
In 2016, it was reported that Facebook spent $5 million annually to ensure its founder and CEO stay protected via bodyguards, private-jet travel and maintenance of alarms, cameras and other equipment at his homes.
The investment to keep Zuck safe from outside elements extends far beyond human threats, and into the center of the solar system.
The 36-year-old did his best human impression by engaging in water sports in Hawaii, complete with an electric surfboard and a five-gallon vat of Banana Boat sunscreen caked on his face because apparently heat and UV rays can be damaging to the mechanical parts within Zuckerberg’s robo-head.
Mark Zuckerberg surfboards in Hawaii with way too much sunscreen https://t.co/TYcdDmBbZG pic.twitter.com/INyGVPvNY6
— New York Post (@nypost) July 19, 2020
(I also learned today that Zuckerberg has a caboose big enough to house the Winklevoss twins.)
If this picture seems obscure to you, consider that it features the same guy who allegedly made a Facebook employee blow-dry his armpits before meetings.
Totally human.
Luckily for Zucc, the internet gave him a free pass and the surf photo will likely never be seen again.
NAHT. He is getting more heat online than his sunscreen can handle.
No one has ever seen Mark Zuckerberg and the ghost from Spirited Away in the same room, just saying pic.twitter.com/RZ54gjcHJz
— Brent Peabody 🇺🇸 (@brent_peabody) July 19, 2020
talk to sunscreen mark zuckerberg for the best side quest in the game pic.twitter.com/0JlbkKwsUw
— Dean Dobbs (@DeanDobbs) July 19, 2020
https://twitter.com/Rick76_/status/1284993575743299584?s=20
People are focusing too much on Zuckerberg's sunscreen and not enough on the fact that he's wearing a fucking hoodie to surf. 🤡😂
— Neal Brennan (@nealbrennan) July 20, 2020
There's a fresh career just waiting for Mark Zuckerberg. pic.twitter.com/o56fyyiLCY
— Ivica Milarić (@filmzadanas) July 19, 2020
Mark Zuckerberg with too much sunscreen on looks like he's wearing one of those shitty Michael Myers masks you find at Party City pic.twitter.com/7E2DbdUtv6
— 𝓓𝖗. 𝓦𝖔𝖑𝖋𝖚𝖑𝘼 🌖 (@DoctorWolfula) July 19, 2020
https://twitter.com/carlyaquilino/status/1285014651600883712?s=20
“Wear a mask when you go outside”
Mark Zuckerberg: pic.twitter.com/xxWS40jeaF
— Eoin Wenger (@eoinwenger) July 20, 2020
google photos of mark zuckerberg over the years and you can see the human leave his body year by year pic.twitter.com/qXbQG15RNa
— Sana Saeed (@SanaSaeed) July 19, 2020
Why is it that Mark Zuckerberg is incapable of doing anything without looking like a replicant? pic.twitter.com/aWWlI1Rx1S
— Jonathan Pie (@JonathanPieNews) July 20, 2020
I knew Mark Zuckerberg loved data. I just didn’t know he loved Data this much. pic.twitter.com/MkOsQm3dE8
— Star Wars: AnuHope (@anumccartney) July 20, 2020
https://twitter.com/BillWilliamsonx/status/1284975126719737858?s=20
Poor Mark. All he ever wanted was to create a platform to creep on his female classmates.