MSNBC Airs A Completely Senseless Tweet About Bloomberg Campaign And Anchors Fail To Do Basic Logic

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Michael Bloomberg spent $500 million on advertisements to put himself in a position to change the world and we’ve convinced ourselves to be mad about it.

Bloomberg didn’t spend a half billion on an Epstein island, he spent in attempt to be the change the same people criticizing him are begging for. Also, five hundred million dollars to Michael Bloomberg is a Chipotle burrito with no guac to the average human. A Big Baller Brand shoelace. Three Clinton sexual assault settlements. A $58 billion net worth is a burden. Let the man purge.

Still, industry professionals get bylines in the Washington Post for making me feel like Rain Man.

Keep in mind this take bounced off the fingers of a respected journalist.

When I read this tweet I feel like I just took a gravity bong and was asked to say the alphabet backwards. I not only could not understand the math, I could not understand how a logical blue check could possibly believe it to be true.

And how it was validated on a real life news outlet.

“Don’t tell us if you’re ahead of us on the math.” 327 million Americans = $1.52 per person. A far cry from $1 million.

You can’t script this shit. This is why SNL ain’t funny anymore. You can’t effectively make fun of something that’s already made fun of itself. God Bless America.

And Stay Petty.




Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.